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A review by frednamode
Coming Out to Parents: A Two-Way Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay Men and Their Parents by Mary V. Borhek
informative
1.5
Jfc this book has aged badly :/
There are much better books on coming out available. Don’t waste your time on this.
Borhek tells you that you shouldn’t feel guilty for being gay and then follows that with 300 pages about how you can grieve with your parents over your decision to come out.
The tone is completely wrong. Sure, religious parents unfortunately need more time to come to terms with a gay child, but it is not that child’s responsibility to deal with the parents.
The parents’ reactions are understandable but that doesn’t mean they are in the right. Borhek should not make me feel like I need to please my parents and hide my gayness until they come to terms with it (if they ever do). She should be saying that ultimately if my parents are not okay, it’s not the end of the world and I have other options. She should not be trying to convince me to baby some emotionally toxic people when it will clearly do me harm.
Let me make this clear: It’s okay to walk away from family if being around them hurts you. That doesn’t make you selfish. That makes you strong, and that makes you brave.
There are much better books on coming out available. Don’t waste your time on this.
Borhek tells you that you shouldn’t feel guilty for being gay and then follows that with 300 pages about how you can grieve with your parents over your decision to come out.
The tone is completely wrong. Sure, religious parents unfortunately need more time to come to terms with a gay child, but it is not that child’s responsibility to deal with the parents.
The parents’ reactions are understandable but that doesn’t mean they are in the right. Borhek should not make me feel like I need to please my parents and hide my gayness until they come to terms with it (if they ever do). She should be saying that ultimately if my parents are not okay, it’s not the end of the world and I have other options. She should not be trying to convince me to baby some emotionally toxic people when it will clearly do me harm.
Let me make this clear: It’s okay to walk away from family if being around them hurts you. That doesn’t make you selfish. That makes you strong, and that makes you brave.