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A review by mid_reads_books
I'm Afraid of Men by Vivek Shraya
funny
informative
inspiring
lighthearted
reflective
fast-paced
4.5
Vivek Shraya goes straight to the point in this book. She describes why she is afraid of men through personal experiences and, from them, tries to identify what can be done to challenge toxic masculinity and reimagine notions of gender.
A lot of the experiences described in this book will resonate with a lot of women because they are things we almost all go through.
Additionally, Vivek Shraya also offers a very different lens from what we usually see in feminist literature as she also talks about her past experiences in how her gender non-conformity made her a target of misogyny, homophobia and transphobia, showcasing why it's important to include trans and queer perspectives into feminism.
She also considers the intersection of her queerness and South Asian origins in talking about how people treated her within queer communities and how it has affected her romantic life and that's a very important discussion.
"I'm Afraid of Men" is the kind of book that brings attention to forms of violence that we have sometimes grown a bit too accustomed to, to the point of brushing it off sometimes in a "it is what it is" way, but the author reminds us how important and urgent it is that we challenge the environment and behaviors that enable that violence.
I really like the commentary on the concept of "the good man", the man who is the exception in a world of toxic masculinity, and how glorifying the idea of such men can perpetuate the overlooking of the unacceptable behaviors of "typical men" while also congratulating the "good men" for showing the bare minimum of respect for women, thus making the concept itself self-defeating.
This is a very short book, very straightforward and eye-opening; it's also laced with sweetness and Vivek Shraya's writing is very friendly while also being inviting to reflexion. This is definitely one of those books that I wish I could get everyone I know to read.
Please, do pick it up if you have a few minutes to spare, it's such a short book that can take less than fifteen minutes to read and yet will give you a lot to think about.
A lot of the experiences described in this book will resonate with a lot of women because they are things we almost all go through.
Additionally, Vivek Shraya also offers a very different lens from what we usually see in feminist literature as she also talks about her past experiences in how her gender non-conformity made her a target of misogyny, homophobia and transphobia, showcasing why it's important to include trans and queer perspectives into feminism.
She also considers the intersection of her queerness and South Asian origins in talking about how people treated her within queer communities and how it has affected her romantic life and that's a very important discussion.
"I'm Afraid of Men" is the kind of book that brings attention to forms of violence that we have sometimes grown a bit too accustomed to, to the point of brushing it off sometimes in a "it is what it is" way, but the author reminds us how important and urgent it is that we challenge the environment and behaviors that enable that violence.
I really like the commentary on the concept of "the good man", the man who is the exception in a world of toxic masculinity, and how glorifying the idea of such men can perpetuate the overlooking of the unacceptable behaviors of "typical men" while also congratulating the "good men" for showing the bare minimum of respect for women, thus making the concept itself self-defeating.
This is a very short book, very straightforward and eye-opening; it's also laced with sweetness and Vivek Shraya's writing is very friendly while also being inviting to reflexion. This is definitely one of those books that I wish I could get everyone I know to read.
Please, do pick it up if you have a few minutes to spare, it's such a short book that can take less than fifteen minutes to read and yet will give you a lot to think about.