A review by bisexualbookshelf
Calling In by Loretta J. Ross

hopeful informative reflective medium-paced

5.0

"We can skip the viral shaming and reputational warfare. We can skip the ideological litmus tests that don’t help to build a diverse coalition. Whether persuading another individual or launching an entire cultural movement, real change requires bringing people in."

Thank you to NetGalley and the publisher for the eARC! This book was released in the US on February 4th, 2025 by Simon and Schuster. 

There’s a moment in Calling In that I can’t forget—when Loretta J. Ross, a rape crisis counselor and survivor herself, receives a letter from a group of incarcerated men asking how not to be rapists. Instead of turning away, she leans in, choosing solidarity over punishment. This choice—to build rather than burn—is at the heart of Ross’s argument: real change requires engagement, not exile.

Drawing from over 50 years of activism, Ross interrogates the limits of call-out culture and the punitive impulses that often fracture movements from within. She examines why we feel the need to be right and how that impulse can stifle growth, warning against the weaponization of power in call-outs—especially when rooted in assumptions of guilt. Yet, this isn’t a book about passivity. Ross doesn’t suggest avoiding confrontation, but rather, being strategic with it. Calling in, she argues, is not about coddling—it’s about choosing to wield power with compassion, to guide rather than discard, to de-escalate instead of humiliate.

Ross grounds her theory in lived experience. Her work deprogramming Floyd Cochran, a former Aryan Nations leader, demonstrates how seeing someone’s perspective—without endorsing it—can be the first step in bringing them over to ours. She also explores how to “kill the cop in your head,” pushing readers to unlearn internalized policing and embrace mistakes as part of the learning process. Throughout, she offers tangible strategies for creating a call-in culture, whether in friendships, workplaces, activist spaces, or moments of personal reckoning.

Her writing is incisive yet deeply compassionate, blending social analysis with hard-earned wisdom. She challenges the notion that ideological purity strengthens movements, arguing instead that shame-driven activism weakens solidarity. Calling In is ultimately a call to resist not just external oppression, but the punitive mindsets that keep us from truly building together. If justice is the goal, Ross reminds us, then grace must be part of the path. For those seeking a less punitive, more transformative way to address harm, this book is absolutely essential.

📖 Read this if you love: abolitionist approaches to justice, movement-building rooted in care, and the works of Mariame Kaba and adrienne maree brown.

🔑 Key Themes: Accountability vs. Punishment, The Ethics of Conflict, Power and Solidarity, Transformative Justice in Activism.
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