A review by aforestofbooks
I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki by Baek Se-hee

informative reflective sad fast-paced

3.5

I picked up this book because the title kind of summarizes the last few months (honestly few years) of my life. It follows Baek Sehee as she chronicles the conversations she has with her psychiatrist about her depression. Baek Sehee struggles with low self-esteem, yearns for attention, yet dislikes it, and constantly compares herself to others, while also judging them just the same. It's relatable and uncomfortably accurate at times and I felt like I learned a lot about myself, not just Baek Sehee. One thing that really hit me reading this book was how difficult it is to change as a person when who you are is something that is nurtured into you from childhood. We see Baek Sehee struggle with this throughout this memoir, and even by the end, you know it's something she still struggles with. It's one thing being told my a mental health professional that you should change your thought process, and it's a whole other thing actually putting that into action and having it stick. Our experiences and habits from childhood stick with us and are really hard to let go.

I especially loved the format for this book as it's mostly in dialogue form which makes for a pretty quick and easy read. And I can't wait to pick up the next book once it comes out to read more about Baek Sehee's experience with therapy.