Scan barcode
A review by niniane
Passages: Predictable Crises of Adult Life by Gail Sheehy
5.0
This book from the 70s covers life stages between age 18 to 50. Although the marriage timeline is out of date (it covers women who generally get married by 21 and have 3 kids by 25), the dynamics are still relevant. It was thought-provoking.
The book says each adult feels two simultaneous forces: one for following the expected life script given by their parents, and the other for exploration and breaking free from parental expectations.
Some people first follow the expectations and build a safe structure. They get married, get a job their parents approve of, etc. By 40, their repressed desire for exploration kicks in and they go on a jaunt to explore.
Others first live a transient life backpacking through foreign countries or dating a lot. By 40, they want a steady job and to explore a structured life.
In their 40s, people give up the idea that they can follow a societal script and it will keep them safe. They face their own mortality and their character flaws. Some people try to keep busy with external distractions (which just delays the inevitable feeling of crisis). Others confront the dark feelings and eventually decide on self identity that is not swayed by other people.
The book says each adult feels two simultaneous forces: one for following the expected life script given by their parents, and the other for exploration and breaking free from parental expectations.
Some people first follow the expectations and build a safe structure. They get married, get a job their parents approve of, etc. By 40, their repressed desire for exploration kicks in and they go on a jaunt to explore.
Others first live a transient life backpacking through foreign countries or dating a lot. By 40, they want a steady job and to explore a structured life.
In their 40s, people give up the idea that they can follow a societal script and it will keep them safe. They face their own mortality and their character flaws. Some people try to keep busy with external distractions (which just delays the inevitable feeling of crisis). Others confront the dark feelings and eventually decide on self identity that is not swayed by other people.