jeankwemoi 's review for:

Don't Cry for Me by Daniel Black

4.5

emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad tense fast-paced

Plot or Character Driven: Character

Strong character development: Complicated

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This is a heart tagging story that details the life of Jacob in a series of letters to his only son Isaac explaining why he loved him the way he did. 

Jacob is dying and he hasn’t seen his son since his Isaac’s mother funeral and due their strained relationship, they’ve not reached to each other for years. The only way Jacob knows how  to make a mence with his son is by writing these series of letters detailing his experiences growing up a black male in Arkansas under the custody of his grandparents, his relationship with his grandfather and how it informed some of his actions especially his behavior towards him and his mother.

It’s always perturbing to see how most men interpret their showing of love to their wives and children due lack of knowledge.. Quoting from the book, “We just did love different back then. Love din’t have anything to do with feelings, it was hard work and sacrifice making sure our children knew how to mine. Dint have nothing to do with how you felt about them or they felt about Jacob is dying and he hasn’t seen his son since his Isaac’s mother funeral and due their strained relationship, they’ve not reached to each other for years. The only way Jacob knows how  to make a mence with his son is by writing these series of letters detailing his experiences growing up a black male in Arkansas under the custody of his grandparents, his relationship with his grandfather and how it informed some of his actions especially his behavior towards him and his mother.

It’s only after Jacob started reading did come to know a different way of being a man from what he grew up knowing. His eye opening book was The Color Purple by Alice Walker. He states that he actually realized that what he knew all along as being ‘a man’ was actually a monster 

I feel so much empathy towards both father and son for different reasons; for the father, he was only showing love the only way he knew how to but to the son as well because he didn’t get a chance to experience how much the father had changed and had so much compassion towards him now that he knew what love is & how to show his son love no matter what societal norms dictate 

It’s an important book to read as we commemorate Black History Month. 

Some parts that will stay with me (among many more) are;

1. “Fear governed me back then . Men of my time were mean and hostile because they feared Losing power. Feminists in the 80s at my declared that manhood was a socially conceived idea. It was an oppressive notion. In someways they were right. We had nothing if we dint dominate others. We knew we could lose everything at any moment. Liberal women and gay men told us that we were about to. Their freedom disturbed our self worth black and white men alike. That’s why we leaves in fear…”

 2. “Knowledge is a funny thing Isaac It informs by exposing it shows how much you don’t know.”

3.”All I wanted to do is look you in the face and tell you that I’m sorry. I wounded you beyond my capacity to heal you. If you get nothing else from this letter, understand that I never knew how to love. I dreamt of it but I never experienced it. What I knew was pain so that’s what I gave you. I’d never seen a black life free from it so my life as a father was I assumed was to prepare your back for the load.”

4…” A man believes that when he becomes a father he’ll love perfectly but this isn’t true. Love doesn’t make us perfect, it makes want to be. By the time you discover this you’re imperfections have done their damage.”

5.” You must learn to uproot the unwanted seeds without uprooting the entire harvest. This is the son’s lesson. Nurture good sprouts Isaac. Toss weeds aside and never think of them again. Just remember sprouts and weeds are planted together and weeds have a valuable function. They teach you what to avoid, what not to embrace. Theirs no good planting without them.” 

Spoiler