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A review by nyquillll
Just for the Summer by Abby Jimenez
adventurous
challenging
emotional
funny
hopeful
inspiring
reflective
sad
tense
medium-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? Yes
- Diverse cast of characters? It's complicated
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
witnessing someone's darkest moments early on and choosing to stay, not knowing how to handle it exactly but being willing to figure it out
anger v. empathy
Content Warnings
Graphic: Panic attacks/disorders, Toxic relationship, Abandonment, Grief, and Mental illness
Quotes I highlighted:
"You have to tell me. It's like when you're an undercover cop and someone asks you if you're a cop and you can't lie about it."
"Me: I am not a reporter. Justin: That's exactly what an undercover reporter would say."
"The FBI should hire more women. We're natural investigators. It's on his Instagram."
"When men stop assaulting women they meet on the internet, we'll stop creeping on them to make sure they pass the vibe check. And anyway, if he wanted privacy, his account would be private."
"I don't see any red flags here, other than he's got a J name. J-named men are the worst."
"I'm following him on Instagram from my throwaway account to keep up surveillance. You may proceed."
"Sorry, I had to give Brad his dewormer. I brought some for you too. Faith said you've been dragging your ass on the carpet?"
"'This is true,' Brad said, looking at his phone. 'We are assholes. But only to each other. It's the foundation of our friendship.'"
"Is there any truth to the q-tip thing being bad for you or do doctors just not want me to be happy?"
"'I'm not superstitious.' I heard him suck air through his teeth. 'I'm a little stitious.'"
"I couldn't begin to guess the demons she fought. I just knew that she did."
"'Oh yeah?' he said. 'What kind of errand? Tell me your day today from start to finish.'"
"It was even better when he was live action. Or maybe it was even better because he had a good personality to match? I think his sense of humor made him more attractive."
"I got out just as he made it to the car, and I tossed him the keys. He caught them against his stomach and stared at me with wide eyes. 'Seriously?'"
"'A date? What happened to George?' 'He's gone, Justin. May god rest his soul.' I blinked at her. 'Your boyfriend died?' 'He's dead to me.'"
"I felt preemptively exhausted. The kids probably needed therapy."
"I started a spreadsheet. I can send it to you when I'm done."
"Justin saved my dog and my grandma from a burning building. He's my hero. -A Real Person."
"We do not go out of our way for men. We do not inconvenience ourselves for men, we do not change our well-laid plans for men. No."
"'A place like this should have laughter in it,' Maria said, taking us to the bedrooms. 'Memories.'"
"I think if you like him you should give him a fair shot. Don't just treat him like a checklist."
"I'm sorry, but Amber cannot be the only family you ever have. I literally forbid it."
"I clicked on it and a survey popped up titled 'Your Date With Justin.' I had to cover up my smile with a hand."
"Victorian greeting (small curtsey and a slight nod)"
"I was cracking up. 'He sent me a pre-date questionnaire.' 'What? Let me see that,' Maddy said. She took my phone. Then her eyes raised to mine. 'I like this.'"
"PLEASE JOIN JUSTIN AT THE ADDRESS YOU PROVIDED AT 11:00A.M. SHARP FOR A SURPRISE ACTIVITY, LUNCH AND CONVERSATION. PLEASE WEAR LONG PANTS."
"You can tell a lot about a guy by how they deal with rejection and getting their assess handed to them."
"The moment Emma came into view, my entire world slipped into slow motion. My brain took a screenshot. I felt the moment freeze and save."
"'I don't mind. I didn't want to be adopted,' she said. 'I wanted my mom to be able to come back for me if she wanted to.'"
"She was a single mom, Justin, doing the best she could. She couldn't afford overnight daycare and I was really independent."
"Why not forgive? In a world where you can choose anger or empathy, always choose empathy, Justin. I don't know what it was like to be her. A singly mom at eighteen, no money, no family. She struggled. She still struggles. But she loves me and I never doubted that for a second no matter what she did."
"Ten minutes later a tearful twentysomething woman ran through the restaurant to our booth to get her mother."
"'Her shirt was buttoned wrong,' she said. 'I used to work in memory care. She seemed off. Disoriented.'"
"'Why didn't you tell her the truth? That we're not in California,' I asked. 'It's too confusing. The truth scares them. Sometimes the best way to show love or to be kind to someone is to meet them where they are.'"
"I watched her while she stirred her coffee. I liked that she helped. I liked that she noticed she had to."
"The fates are reversed and the tribute takes the thing he asked for to save someone he loves."
"'So I got hustled,' I deadpanned. 'Am I the asshole?' She batted her eyes at me. 'No. It was a privilege to see you work.'"
"That old thrill ran through me. The one I always got when she showed up again unexpectedly, to rescue me, or surprise me, or finally take me home. I ran toward her."
"I was so overwhelmed with relief, I started to cry. I was a little girl again."
"It was strange how I realized I knew this, without ever consciously knowing it. The fading scent of roses would make me brace. Make me hyperaware of her comings and goings. Make me try harder to be less of a burden so maybe she wouldn't feel the need to put me down again and go."
"It was like there was no peaceful place to exist, no emotional safe space. I could have chaos, or I could have worry."
"Justin plucked the carrot out of my glass and tossed it in a bush."
"How about we make a deal. If you ever ask me what I'm thinking, I'll always tell you the truth."
"So you and I are never going to bullshit each other. The stone-cold truth, on demand, no filter, whenever we want it. That's what we're agreeing on?"
"I'm thinking that I don't like her because she's ignoring you for some guy she just met, and I feel bad that I don't like her because I know you do."
"'I don't accumulate. I don't get attached.' 'To what?' She shrugged. 'To anything. You know how you get a new phone and you save the box? I don't do that.'"
"You don't want to live somewhere? Like, find a forever home where you can plant things in the earth?"
"I knew that feeling. The feeling that you're getting back a piece of your childhood."
"In looking at him I wondered if you see things differently in childhood. If innocence can make anything beautiful. Because he looked like he always had, but I didn't remember him being this tattered."
"This feels different from your normal MO and there's only so much trauma you can handle. You've met your lifetime maximum already. If he fucks with you and you unravel, I'm going to unalive him with a can opener."
"So you don't think that's weird? That you can't ever act like you actually live somewhere? That you're always ready to take off on a moment's notice?"
"'Oh my god...' 'What?' Maddy said. 'What is it?' 'Justin just sent me an exit interview.'"
"If you can choose anger or empathy, always choose empathy. I couldn't. At this point anger was all I had."
"Maddy froze. 'What in the seventh circle of hell is this?' she breathed."
"I could feel myself getting small. Shrinking into myself the way I always did when something stressful or awful happened. Retreating into my own brain."
"Not answer the door for anyone or anything, cut off everyone until I felt safe enough to start to let them in again a little at a time."
"It made me smile. The meal was the kind of thrown-together one Mom used to make. It was comfort food."
"Maybe I was aloof to a fault. Except with Mom. With Mom I felt everything, all the time."
"I'm thinking that my mom takes a lot out of me. And that maybe she doesn't leave anything for anyone else."
"'No, explain it,' he said, handing me the towel. 'Tell me.'"
"'I have this thing where I get small,' I said, looking at the towel as I dried my hands. 'I get really withdrawn and I just want to be alone.'"
"I don't think you're a horrible person. I think you went through something horrible and that's who you needed to become to get through it."
"You're like a docking station for small vulnerable dependents."
"I still couldn't believe it. No matter how fast it was coming or how many emails Mom sent with instructions and the names of pediatricians and dentists they had to see and sports I had to sign them up for in the fall, I still couldn't accept this was real."
"'She won't be able to chaperon Chelsea's field trips,' I said, almost absently."
"Be glad you don't get it. It means your life has been a lot gentler than hers."
"Unhealed trauma is a crack. And all the little hard things that trickle into it that would have rolled off someone else, settle. Then when life gets cold, that crack gets bigger, longer, deeper. It makes new breaks. You don't know how broken she was or what she was trying to do to fill those cracks. Being broken is not an excuse for bad behavior, you still have to make good choices and do the right thing. But it can be the reason. And sometimes understanding the reason can be what helps you heal."
"'You don't have to forgive her. You really don't. You can still love someone that you've decided not to speak to anymore. You can still wish them well and hope for the best for them. Choosing a life without them doesn't mean that you stop caring about them. It just means hat you can't allow them to harm you anymore. But if you don't think you'll life would be better without them in it, then accept that they have cracks. Try to understand how they got them and help fill them with something that isn't ice.' She peered at me. 'If you can choose anger or empathy, always choose empathy, Justin. It's so much healthier than anger. For both of you.'"
"I felt a small lump form in my throat. Because when I reframed it this way, I started to wonder if I'd failed her. If I hadn't felt like someone safe that she could be honest with and lean on. I hadn't met her where she was."
"'Uh, I promise you I can outmaneuver a zombie, Justin." "Well, if you can't, I promise to run slower than you."
"The Mariner's Revenge is a cult classic. Chelsea calls it the pirate song, she likes it. Do you ever think about the children, Emma? No. You only think about yourself."
"The Toilet King shirt? You can't ask for it. If you actually want it, it's not funny." "Not my problem. If she checks the Stupid Shirt option on the what-to-wear part of the surveys I send her, I'm gonna need it." "Dumbass. Hold on."
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