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sidneyellwood 's review for:
Her Name in the Sky
by Kelly Quindlen
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I picked this up because I loved Kelly Quindlen's traditional debut, Late to the Party, but this book completely surpassed my expectations with how good it was. Her Name in the Sky made me feel like my heart got turned inside out and ripped apart. It's a heartrending story of self-discovery and love and fear, and it blew me out of the water at every page.
Her Name in the Sky high school senior Hannah Eaden and her group of friends in a Louisana Catholic school when Hannah realizes she has feelings for her best friend, Baker, and that Baker likes her back. Hannah and Baker are both fairly average teenagers, albeit on the popular side of their school, which really does screw things up when things get going. Really, Hannah and her friend group live the life that I wanted to live as a teenager, and Kelly Quindlen is so good at prying that aching nostalgia from me with beautiful writing and relatable characters.
If you're expecting a fluffy romance in this book, you'll be disappointed; Her Name in the Sky is more of a coming-of-age mixed with difficult themes of religion and homophobia. There is a lot of angst, and a lot of the moments between Hannah and Baker are bittersweet. Both Hannah and Baker go through a lot in this book, and both of them do hurtful things to each other because of it. It doesn't make them bad people; they're scared teenagers who lash out or keep everything in. Both of them seem so real to me. Hannah is impulsive and rash a lot of the time, and she definitely lashes out. Baker is more timid, and Hannah has such a drive to protect her, and I understand that makes Baker seem unsympathetic, but I could emphasize with her and understand why she did what she did. Faith is difficult. Religion is difficult. Especially as a teenager, in such a tight-knit, prejudiced community, there's so much fear there.
As a bisexual Christian, this book really hit me, and I cried a fair bit towards the end. I'm lucky to have never struggled as much with my sexuality as Hannah and Baker did, but I grew up with casual homophobia. I think this is the book that has rung most true with me about how it feels to struggle with your faith, whether it's because of sexuality or trauma or other things. There were so many passages of this book that took my breath away, formed my jumbled thoughts into words and put it on a page. This book holds up forgiveness and love--whether romantic, or platonic, as familial--as what it is to know God, which is something that speaks very deeply to me.
It is, I think, important to note that despite all the difficulties and angsty and hardship that Hannah and Baker face during the story, things end happily: not bittersweet, but happily.
I absolutely loved reading Her Name in the Sky--it was painful, but in a good way. Kelly Quindlen is definitely on my list for books I will be watching out for in the future. I am going to deviate from the template and finish off with one of my favourite quotes from the book, because it's really what the book is about: "When we love, we automatically know God without even trying to, because God is love. If we love as He made us to love--if we love with our hearts instead of our criteria--then we simply are love."
content warnings | homophobia, religious-based homophobia
representation | lesbian main character and love interest
She thinks about Christ. How she'd like to lay everything down at his feet. "Here you go," she'd say, dropping everything down like a pile of wood. "You gave me this, and I have no idea what to do with it."
I picked this up because I loved Kelly Quindlen's traditional debut, Late to the Party, but this book completely surpassed my expectations with how good it was. Her Name in the Sky made me feel like my heart got turned inside out and ripped apart. It's a heartrending story of self-discovery and love and fear, and it blew me out of the water at every page.
Her Name in the Sky high school senior Hannah Eaden and her group of friends in a Louisana Catholic school when Hannah realizes she has feelings for her best friend, Baker, and that Baker likes her back. Hannah and Baker are both fairly average teenagers, albeit on the popular side of their school, which really does screw things up when things get going. Really, Hannah and her friend group live the life that I wanted to live as a teenager, and Kelly Quindlen is so good at prying that aching nostalgia from me with beautiful writing and relatable characters.
If you're expecting a fluffy romance in this book, you'll be disappointed; Her Name in the Sky is more of a coming-of-age mixed with difficult themes of religion and homophobia. There is a lot of angst, and a lot of the moments between Hannah and Baker are bittersweet. Both Hannah and Baker go through a lot in this book, and both of them do hurtful things to each other because of it. It doesn't make them bad people; they're scared teenagers who lash out or keep everything in. Both of them seem so real to me. Hannah is impulsive and rash a lot of the time, and she definitely lashes out. Baker is more timid, and Hannah has such a drive to protect her, and I understand that makes Baker seem unsympathetic, but I could emphasize with her and understand why she did what she did. Faith is difficult. Religion is difficult. Especially as a teenager, in such a tight-knit, prejudiced community, there's so much fear there.
As a bisexual Christian, this book really hit me, and I cried a fair bit towards the end. I'm lucky to have never struggled as much with my sexuality as Hannah and Baker did, but I grew up with casual homophobia. I think this is the book that has rung most true with me about how it feels to struggle with your faith, whether it's because of sexuality or trauma or other things. There were so many passages of this book that took my breath away, formed my jumbled thoughts into words and put it on a page. This book holds up forgiveness and love--whether romantic, or platonic, as familial--as what it is to know God, which is something that speaks very deeply to me.
It is, I think, important to note that despite all the difficulties and angsty and hardship that Hannah and Baker face during the story, things end happily: not bittersweet, but happily.
I absolutely loved reading Her Name in the Sky--it was painful, but in a good way. Kelly Quindlen is definitely on my list for books I will be watching out for in the future. I am going to deviate from the template and finish off with one of my favourite quotes from the book, because it's really what the book is about: "When we love, we automatically know God without even trying to, because God is love. If we love as He made us to love--if we love with our hearts instead of our criteria--then we simply are love."
content warnings | homophobia, religious-based homophobia
representation | lesbian main character and love interest