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A review by absoluteabsolem
The Ethical Slut: A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities by Dossie Easton
informative
slow-paced
2.5
before i get mean i'll start by saying i don't think i'm the audience for this. i walked in expecting something that goes rly deep into polyamory since it's written by two women in their seventies (a great premise !) but it's more like a 101 thing. which is not a bad thing per se i suppose but like, i already know about all of this. even for someone new to the concepts introduced here, i'm not sure this is the book they should go for. it's incredibly repetitive, among other things.
it only took me eleven days to get through but it felt like weeks. as mentioned above the ethical slut is very surface-level about everything it mentions i feel, and sometimes concerningly utopian, especially about how suppodedly easy it is to be queer now. hell, four cis gay men (a category more marginalised people claim is always safe in public spaces and sure, they're a lot less at risk than trans women but they're still queer) got assaulted or killed in the goddamn street in france this past month alone. it feels a bit weird to read over and over that now everyone can get married so we got everything we ever wanted and our rights are secure forever, and this is an updated edition published once year after trump's election. the opening chapters are full of this super optimistic worldview and i find it puzzling. but hey, at least we got a little chapter about aids and queer revolution in the end
even in the more everyday-life aspects of it, it just doesn't deliver imo. it is written in there that if someone doesn't want to meet your other partners, just bide your time, they'll come around. that is not how things work. there's also a long chapter that talks about jealousy but only in terms of sex. i feel like emotional insecurities also play an important part in potential conflicts and that is addressed somewhat in other chapters but it doesn't go deep enough. nothing really goes deep enough, and it seems to always be wrapped in this idealistic paper that i just don't vibe with. glad to hear it resonates with other people though
it only took me eleven days to get through but it felt like weeks. as mentioned above the ethical slut is very surface-level about everything it mentions i feel, and sometimes concerningly utopian, especially about how suppodedly easy it is to be queer now. hell, four cis gay men (a category more marginalised people claim is always safe in public spaces and sure, they're a lot less at risk than trans women but they're still queer) got assaulted or killed in the goddamn street in france this past month alone. it feels a bit weird to read over and over that now everyone can get married so we got everything we ever wanted and our rights are secure forever, and this is an updated edition published once year after trump's election. the opening chapters are full of this super optimistic worldview and i find it puzzling. but hey, at least we got a little chapter about aids and queer revolution in the end
even in the more everyday-life aspects of it, it just doesn't deliver imo. it is written in there that if someone doesn't want to meet your other partners, just bide your time, they'll come around. that is not how things work. there's also a long chapter that talks about jealousy but only in terms of sex. i feel like emotional insecurities also play an important part in potential conflicts and that is addressed somewhat in other chapters but it doesn't go deep enough. nothing really goes deep enough, and it seems to always be wrapped in this idealistic paper that i just don't vibe with. glad to hear it resonates with other people though