A review by lilmooniex
Things I Wanted To Say (but never did) by Monica Murphy

challenging dark hopeful sad tense medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? Yes
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? No
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

Spoiler filled review / summary: 

Summer's step brother Yates pursues her heavily. Her first encounter with a man was at a rich guy's party due to who her mom works with - she also found out her mom was cheating on her step dad at the same party after Whit Lancaster told her. Whit let her know because it was his father that she was cheating with. Later on Summer ends up going to the same prestige school as Whit and he ends up making her an outcast because she ignores him and he "always gets what he wants." Whit basically becomes her bully without lifting a finger, getting everyone to bully her harder, physically pushing her until she agrees to his terms (a few blowies for her to finally get some friends, yay!) Elliot is Whit's friend and takes things to the next level trying to assault Summer because she won't have sex with him and she ended up kneeing him in the balls in front of everyone. Due to her humiliating him he came to retaliate when she was alone in the rain, about to assault her with his friend before Whit came to save her. Whit ended up getting his ribs bruised from the fight and Summer took care of him in her dorm where they hooked up for the first time while he continues to call her a whore for the umpteenth time. After the oral chronicles, Whit steals Summer's journal that he found in her drawer that she writes all the important events of her life so she doesn't forget them. He's using it as blackmail if it comes down to it. Sylvie (Whit's sister) is the only friend Summer has because she isn't afraid of his bullshit. Sylvie is dying, she said she is in poor health. Jonas Weatherstone, Summer's step dad died in a house fire which definitely had something to do with Summer. Whit is blackmailing Summer for sexual favors because her mom destroyed his family and is taking everything out on her instead. Whit is actually obsessed with her and ever since his first encounter with her he's been smitten just like she has. Too bad he's expressing his feelings in a shitty way but it seems consensual at least. He begins to actually read her journal and I think finally begins to get a better grasp of who Summer is. After Whit's visit with his own father he basically tells him he could give up on his family and marry a commoner or carry on their family name by marrying someone wealthy enough to keep his name going. Whit's obsession with Summer only grows after his visit realizing all the preppy rich girls don't compare. They bang around more until the day of the halloween party, they broke up a little before because Whit was destined to get married off to someone and instead dressed up super sluttily and hit on everyone at the party. She was not against people even slapping her ass. She was going to leave with one of the men from the party before Bryan tried to rape her, Whit ending up stopping the whole interaction. After all was said and done they still have trouble getting back together as Whit has a temporary girlfriend Caitlyn who is just obsessed with him but he won't sleep with her because he knew her obsession would only grow. Summer is planning on spending Thanksgiving with Sylvie and Whit goes terribly wrong - Sylvie's turns out to be a bitch easily manipulated by their mother. Since Summer was spending all of her time with Whit she felt betrayed and thought she only became friends with her for Whit and began calling her a whore and saying she is much like her mom. Summer finally grows some balls and tells her she's a spoiled rich lady like her mother. Sylvia (whit's mom, not sister) found Summer's journal and found out that Summer killed Yates and her step father with a candle she tipped over after he raped her one night. Summer's mom later told her when she visited after storming away from that terrible holiday that she actually beat Yates over the head with something causing him to bleed out after he threatened to tell his dad that she molested him after her mom confronted him about him sleeping with his step sister (Summer.) She then tipped the candles over the window curtain causing the house to go up in flames because Summer would never cause a fire the way she did. After a year in Paris Summer has time to evaluate her life Whit ends up showing up due to Monty the gay new friend she kept in touch with from school. Monty gets Summer all dressed in a beautiful skimpy outfit to impress a rich Paris suitor, turns out it was Whit reclaiming what's his. Whit returns the journal finally before he tells her everything going on in his life and how the arranged marriage is off and his mom has no say in his love affairs anymore. Letticia the bride to be turned out to be bisexual and was doing coke to numb the pain of being forced into marriage for family fortune and hierarchy. She now has a girlfriend. They pick up where they left off. Honestly they belong together he still wanted her back even after thinking she took a bribe / money from his mom to stay away. Sylvie and Summer never officially end up making up in this book. My first Bully story and damn was it crazy the lusty love is worth it, I think I can deal with bully as long as it's consensual. After a 5 year time skip and Summer is finally pregnant with child number two and they have an almost three year old. They're finally preparing for their wedding day after 5 yrs of being together officially and two kiddos. It ends with a cute tender moment between them being lovey, preparing, and that last intimate scene. The smut was GREAT but that last scene was kind've boring.

Does this count as my first bully story? I like enemies to lovers but danggg he straight up calls her a *redacted to avoid spoilers* more often than her name but "likes her?" A fun journey that I ate up very quickly. It had me kicking my feet like I just got a new crush and all. I'm not a fan of bully stories but seeing his perspective gave me a LITTLE ease to enjoy it immensely. I enjoyed the smut hella and I finished this book so quickly for it being a bit longer. This author for sure got me out of my readers slump.