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A review by alexisrt
Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape by Peggy Orenstein
4.0
Peggy Orenstein has written a great book that parents of both boys and girls should read. It has its limitations; her pool of interviewees is imperfect, for example (with only about 70 girls, it can only do so much). Parents should steel themselves not to panic and start generalizing from stories; I started doing that.
The value of the book is in the way it asks us to reconceptualize how we discuss and present sexuality to teens, especially girls. Orenstein takes the expected shots at abstinence only education and purity, but she's also skeptical of sexuality as empowerment: the girls interviewed still use it in a performative way that is about the desire of those (usually boys) that they wish to attract. Is that really so empowering? The overall theme is how the girls haven't really been given the tools and encouragement to seek out sex and relationships on their terms, and to do what they want, when they want, with whom they want. They don't have adequate education about sex and sexuality for the most part--and what they do have is negative. They know how to avoid HIV and pregnancy, but they don't have a positive image of what they do want. Meanwhile, the boys have acquired the attitude that they are entitled to sex and that their own desires and pleasure is what counts, not that of the girls they see.
The final chapter is devoted to discussing what we need to do to change this and give our kids lessons about sex and sexuality that will lead to true self respect (not chewing-gum metaphors) and respect for their partners. We need to get past our own prudishness about talking about sex.
I'd give it 4.5 stars if I could.
The value of the book is in the way it asks us to reconceptualize how we discuss and present sexuality to teens, especially girls. Orenstein takes the expected shots at abstinence only education and purity, but she's also skeptical of sexuality as empowerment: the girls interviewed still use it in a performative way that is about the desire of those (usually boys) that they wish to attract. Is that really so empowering? The overall theme is how the girls haven't really been given the tools and encouragement to seek out sex and relationships on their terms, and to do what they want, when they want, with whom they want. They don't have adequate education about sex and sexuality for the most part--and what they do have is negative. They know how to avoid HIV and pregnancy, but they don't have a positive image of what they do want. Meanwhile, the boys have acquired the attitude that they are entitled to sex and that their own desires and pleasure is what counts, not that of the girls they see.
The final chapter is devoted to discussing what we need to do to change this and give our kids lessons about sex and sexuality that will lead to true self respect (not chewing-gum metaphors) and respect for their partners. We need to get past our own prudishness about talking about sex.
I'd give it 4.5 stars if I could.