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A review by readthesparrow
I Need You to Read This by Jessa Maxwell
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
1.0
I need you not to waste your time reading this.
Not a single character would know common sense if it reared up and bit them in the ass. Alex has all the intellect of a dead goldfish, and for some reason the moment she stands out in public every man within 20 feet aggro on. (Seriously, she eats lunch at this fancy place to celebrate getting her job an some weirdo--completely unprompted, and this guy never comes up again--just walks up to her and starts hitting on her like it's a sleezy bar. And, despite it being an upscale place, where waiters sit you down, no one asks the weird guy loudly harassing the woman who walked in alone.) Her two diner friends—the only vaguely interesting characters in the book—are also flat (tragically retired cop and cool diner lady).
Not a single character would know common sense if it reared up and bit them in the ass. Alex has all the intellect of a dead goldfish, and for some reason the moment she stands out in public every man within 20 feet aggro on. (Seriously, she eats lunch at this fancy place to celebrate getting her job an some weirdo--completely unprompted, and this guy never comes up again--just walks up to her and starts hitting on her like it's a sleezy bar. And, despite it being an upscale place, where waiters sit you down, no one asks the weird guy loudly harassing the woman who walked in alone.) Her two diner friends—the only vaguely interesting characters in the book—are also flat (tragically retired cop and cool diner lady).
The prose is tasteless and basic. On occasion it slips from third to general 'you' second, which no one else probably cares about but it is a pet peeve of mine that drives me up the wall.
As for the plot, it is both contrived and boring. There are so many moments that had me rolling my eyes: the whole job-hiring process (god, she applies for an advice columnist job at 1 AM, drunk, and gets called back like immediately and hired five minutes into the interview... girl lol. And don't even get me started on her salary), the manic pixie dream boy she bumps into at the coffee shop, the nothingburger of the cool secret bar...
Oof, and the setting. It's New York in the 2020s but it really shouldn’t be. Everything about it would be WAY more believable if it was set in the 20th century, during the heyday of newspapers--where being an advice columnist would actually be, like, a valid job title and not a task crammed into the schedule of an already overworked writer.
The genre is thriller but the only thrill I felt was hitting that 100% read mark and finishing the book. Honestly, I only finished for two reasons: for the sake of my NetGalley review score (which, bless it, is a disaster) and because I was stuck without service on the subway and had nothing else to read.
Oof, and the setting. It's New York in the 2020s but it really shouldn’t be. Everything about it would be WAY more believable if it was set in the 20th century, during the heyday of newspapers--where being an advice columnist would actually be, like, a valid job title and not a task crammed into the schedule of an already overworked writer.
The genre is thriller but the only thrill I felt was hitting that 100% read mark and finishing the book. Honestly, I only finished for two reasons: for the sake of my NetGalley review score (which, bless it, is a disaster) and because I was stuck without service on the subway and had nothing else to read.
The only vaguely interesting sections are the Dear Constance letters, which the main character wrote as a young woman, and even those feel out of place. They’re not written like a person telling their story. They’re written like a novel or a short story, neither of which reads as believable in the context of being (supposedly) a letter.
Anyway. I'm off to apply to a job while drunk and get a next-day six salary offer to do nothing but read letters and write vague shitty advice. Byeeeee
Thank you to the publisher for providing an eARC via Netgalley. All opinions expressed in this review are my own.
Thank you to the publisher for providing an eARC via Netgalley. All opinions expressed in this review are my own.