A review by entirelybonkerz
Icebreaker by Hannah Grace

1.0

Is this what kids are into nowadays? Am I too ancient, too old, too out of touch with reality to understand what gen Z likes?

"stop slapping your balls this loud"

"her ass smells so good"

"can Lola really hear my balls?"

Yes, these are all quotes from this book.

Well... there was zero plot. Every single character talked like they were 15 and just found out about sex through giphs on tumblr. And honestly, sex is the only thing they talk about. Every single page. There is nothing but: who's hooking up with who, how many kinky things they've done, waking up and training while wasted from the parties they went to the night before, and how loud his balls are against her thighs when they're having sex.

The FMC has a hardcore/severe eating disorder. AND THERE IS LEGIT A SENTENCE WHERE THEY EXCUSE A GUY KNOCKING SOMEONE UP BY SAYING: oh, it wasn't his fault, he doesn't know a lot about pregnancy. he's a good guy, he's just a 25 year old MAN who doesn't understand how sex works. so you gotta give him a pass.

But yeah, if you want to know what this one is about, it's just a wattpad book that hasn't been edited. But I guess these are the books that get publisher deals nowadays.

There are too many characters that are introduced in a very confusing way. They get yelled at by their coaches every 10 pages and talk about sex and alcohol for the remaining pages. Rinse and repeat. They all end up sharing a rink and spend a lot more time together, yatta, yatta.

It's not the worst book I have ever read. But... It is written like a Wattpad story. Repetitive, long and childish. I JUST don't get it.

I am a geriatric millennial.