A review by marilwyd
Crybaby: Infertility, Illness, and Other Things that Were Not the End of the World by Cheryl Klein

emotional medium-paced

2.5

ARC GIVEN BY NETGALLEY 

I have complicated feelings about this. I enjoyed the writing style and it was entertaining to read, it was very easy.

I found the infertility and cancer sections to be incredibly insightful (as I haven’t gone through either). It must’ve been horrific experiences.

I do have experience with adoption and this is where most of my complicated feelings lie. I believe that adoption isn’t a tool for building a family, for a way to have a child since you can’t have your own. It is to provide a safe home for a child, which is rarely the intent. Adoption is trauma. A lot of people who take the route of adoption do not care about the process, all they want is a baby. Babies are not commodities, they’re humans. This is a core belief of mine, and the way its talked about goes against mine. The line “if you decided to raise your baby, those are completely valid choices, and you have our blessing” rubs me the wrong way, it’s not your place to give a ‘blessing’, it isn’t your child, it is the birth mums. 

Another thing is the line “maybe she had borderline personality disorder” also rubs me the wrong way. BPD is something that impacts a lot of people, and this comment as it refers to a disagreement, adds further stigma to the disorder. (A disorder I have). It isn’t okay to hypothesise about peoples mental health, especially when it comes to BPD which is an incredibly stigmatised disorder. 

These are two main issues I have with this book. I understand it is a memoir, so that these are events and actual things that were thought and beliefs held. Because of that, especially when it comes to the BPD part, you have to be careful about what you say and how you portray things. The adoption part is just differing opinion and you can’t change fundamental beliefs. I hope the author is able to reflect on the issues I raise and contemplate whether this is what they want to portray.