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A review by ida_warness
Tilgi meg by Lori Nelson Spielman
2.0
I both really loved this book, and really didn’t... Had it not been for the way one specific subject was handled, I would have given it 4 stars.
First off I want to say that I love her writing style! How she’s able to make every character connect with the reader is beyond me, but she does, and I’m super impressed.
I quickly became invested in Hannah and her story, and didn’t want to put the book down (or press stop, as I was listening to the audiobook). Her writing moved me throughout the book, both the light, heartwarming parts, and the highly uncomfortable, heavy parts. It’s a truly well written, touching book, in my opinion.
However...
Though I don’t belive it was the intention of the author to belittle such a traumatising, life changing action, I feel like she did just that by having the truth not matter to a potential victim. I know people heal in different ways, but as someone who knows what trauma feels like, the easiness of how Hannah just lets the matter drop, left me unbelievably stressed and frustrated. It just felt wrong.
My main issue however is the amount of victim blaming that goes on (pretty sure unintentionally) in this book. Hannah herself is confused about what happened that night, but outright blames herself for the whole thing several times, and finds a sort of sick comfort in the bashing she gets from others after telling about it.
Even after we’re given multiple signs that suggests Bob’s guilt, and then outright told that he did the same thing to his own daughter, Hannah continues to blame herself for the consequences of that night, and the writing makes it seem like this is how it should be.
For me this book seems like it would be the perfect comfort for, and outright ammunition for those people who victim blames and doubts victims of abuse. A book that tells them victims aren’t to be trusted, and that even if it is some truth to what they’re saying, it shouldn’t really matter that much. The potential victim should just decide that the truth doesn’t matter that much after all, and that forgiveness is key.
Yeah no... Sorry, but that’s a really awful way to handle such a subject, and ruined an otherwise good book.
First off I want to say that I love her writing style! How she’s able to make every character connect with the reader is beyond me, but she does, and I’m super impressed.
I quickly became invested in Hannah and her story, and didn’t want to put the book down (or press stop, as I was listening to the audiobook). Her writing moved me throughout the book, both the light, heartwarming parts, and the highly uncomfortable, heavy parts. It’s a truly well written, touching book, in my opinion.
However...
Spoiler
The highly sensitive subject of child abuse, child molestation, is brought up in a way that made me truly uneasy - not because the subject in itself is uncomfortable, but because of the way it was portrayed and handled. Two things in particular made me give 2 stars to a book I otherwise would give 4:Though I don’t belive it was the intention of the author to belittle such a traumatising, life changing action, I feel like she did just that by having the truth not matter to a potential victim. I know people heal in different ways, but as someone who knows what trauma feels like, the easiness of how Hannah just lets the matter drop, left me unbelievably stressed and frustrated. It just felt wrong.
My main issue however is the amount of victim blaming that goes on (pretty sure unintentionally) in this book. Hannah herself is confused about what happened that night, but outright blames herself for the whole thing several times, and finds a sort of sick comfort in the bashing she gets from others after telling about it.
Even after we’re given multiple signs that suggests Bob’s guilt, and then outright told that he did the same thing to his own daughter, Hannah continues to blame herself for the consequences of that night, and the writing makes it seem like this is how it should be.
For me this book seems like it would be the perfect comfort for, and outright ammunition for those people who victim blames and doubts victims of abuse. A book that tells them victims aren’t to be trusted, and that even if it is some truth to what they’re saying, it shouldn’t really matter that much. The potential victim should just decide that the truth doesn’t matter that much after all, and that forgiveness is key.
Yeah no... Sorry, but that’s a really awful way to handle such a subject, and ruined an otherwise good book.