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A review by careythesixth
This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships by Matthew Fray
emotional
hopeful
informative
reflective
sad
medium-paced
5.0
I first came across this book in a library management support group I'm in on fb. Someone new to management was asking how to manage staff who were good at their jobs but difficult to work with because they'd been treated poorly by previous management. The advice giver suggested this book despite it being about romantic relationships. This book *does* have good advice that's applicable to all kinds of relationships. It deals in psychological safety, which is important in all aspects of life. I highly recommend this to anyone who's looking to become a better listener in any relationship.
But, not gonna lie - I read this for myself and my marriage. My husband also read it. This book is a game changer. Is it magic? No. Will reading it automatically save your relationship? Also, no. But this book is an honest look at the ways in which all of us are unprepared for long term romantic relationships. It's a brutally necessary discussion of what the work of marriage looks like. Fray tells hard truths, the one he keeps coming back to being: You can simultaneously be a good person and bad husband.
Yes, Fray does focus on the role of the husband. He talks about why in the book. If you're looking for both sides-ism, that's not what this book is and it isn't for you. Fray goes hard, but he does so from experience. If you're a husband, this book will make you uncomfortable and ask you to sit with that feel and work out why. As a wife, reading it has been cathartic. I'm not crazy, I'm not alone, and there is a path forward.
But, not gonna lie - I read this for myself and my marriage. My husband also read it. This book is a game changer. Is it magic? No. Will reading it automatically save your relationship? Also, no. But this book is an honest look at the ways in which all of us are unprepared for long term romantic relationships. It's a brutally necessary discussion of what the work of marriage looks like. Fray tells hard truths, the one he keeps coming back to being: You can simultaneously be a good person and bad husband.
Yes, Fray does focus on the role of the husband. He talks about why in the book. If you're looking for both sides-ism, that's not what this book is and it isn't for you. Fray goes hard, but he does so from experience. If you're a husband, this book will make you uncomfortable and ask you to sit with that feel and work out why. As a wife, reading it has been cathartic. I'm not crazy, I'm not alone, and there is a path forward.