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A review by mariahistryingtoread
The Benefits of Being an Octopus by Ann Braden
4.0
//
TW: verbal abuse, emotional abuse, one instance of physical abuse against a child, minor instance of gun violence and gun related threats, child neglect
//
I really like the way Ann Braden tackled a serious issue in a compassionate, age appropriate manner. I’m of the mind that if a kid can have the experience in real life then they can certainly read about it.
12 year old Zoey is used to hardship. She is lonely, shy and believes she isn’t worth much to anyone. She is parentified because her mother has to work a lot and her three younger siblings are more than a handful. On top of that she slowly starts to become aware that her mother is in an emotionally abusive relationship thereby worsening her feelings of uselessness and isolation.
Now, I’m not in the habit of demonizing single mothers. There are plenty of great ones, and plenty who are, at the very least, trying their best. No good single mother sets out to live in poverty or make things difficult for their children. You could have everything together only for your spouse to die leaving the family with a single income to sustain your double income lifestyle. Depending on a number of other factors, if there is no extended family or platonic support circumstances can quickly become dire. I have a lot of sympathy for any parent who falls on hard times for one reason or another as long as they genuinely are making an honest go of it.
Zoey’s mother is not one of them.
She is not irredeemable. She has a job. She genuinely cares about her childrens’ wellbeing. She puts up with the abuse, in part, because she wants the kids to have some stability.
On the other hand, I’d argue that’s just the bare minimum for being a parent. Having multiple children with different men who are heavily implied to have been bad dudes (not abusive, just scummy guys) speaks to her poor judgment. You can’t 100% guarantee you won’t have a kid if you’re sexually active so the pregnancy in and of itself is not the problem. The fact that she ignores clear red flags early on that could have saved her from ending up pregnant in the first place is the problem. She also is legally tied forever to Lenny, the current emotionally abusive boyfriend, because she has a child with him. She forces her daughter to take on way too much responsibility, functioning like a second mother, because she has to keep the household afloat.
I am not shaming her for deciding to have kids when she didn’t have the means to take care of them or implying that it’s her fault for being abused or mistreated in her relationships. What I am saying, however, is that her mother has definitely made decisions that have left them wide open for victimization. Her personal life is not discussed in full here as the book is about Zoey, so I cannot know all the intimate details. And to be fair to her the last boyfriend was a decent person until he slipped into alcoholism, something that you can’t always predict will become an issue.
Still a pattern can still be detected of jumping headlong into bad relationships, dragging her children along to be potentially traumatized by strangers, and subsequently being trapped because she doesn’t have the means to leave when it goes south. Single parents deserve romantic love too, but her children should come first and it’s plain to see she is willing to put hers on the backburner if it means keeping or getting a boyfriend.
All of that to say, while I had great sympathy for her situation as it is not an easy position to be in I could not bring myself to like her.
Obviously, it is super difficult for an abused person to leave. I believe the statistic is something like on average it takes seven times to successfully do so? I’m also aware it can be physically dangerous to leave so I don’t blame people for staying as they get their ducks in a row or needing time to bring themselves to consider it. It’s more so the people who over time end up complicit in the abuse towards others because they have not left. It’s just a really sad, complicated situation because that person is still a victim and has had their spirit broken, but to a point it can be said they have made a decision to stay. The kids have not and my heart goes out to them more than anything.
As a device, I loved her. Braden managed to fit an untold amount of complexity into a supporting character. She was a painfully realistic depiction that I’m sure many people can connect with. I could see why Zoey loved her. At the same time I could also see all the seeds of resentment and betrayal her mother was sowing for Zoey to reap in a few years when she gets old enough to understand the cracks in the foundation.
The outcome of this novel is bittersweet because Zoey’s happy ending is fundamentally wrapped up in a further loss of her innocence. She won’t be in so much emotional turmoil any more, but at what cost? At least I can be happy that going forward she has been given more tools to succeed than she previously ever knew. When I tell you this girls’ self esteem is low, I mean like shy of the Mariana Trench low. Reading about her learning to recognize her own worth, bucking the cycle her mother has unintentionally set them up for was massively satisfying.
For all the praise I have for the character development, I cannot say the same for the debate storyline. The synopsis suggests debate is the key to Zoey unlocking her hidden potential. I’d say it’s more of a catalyst. I think it comes in enough that I wouldn’t say it’s a waste, but debate is not nearly as important as I thought it would be. It’s more the act of joining debate, not debating itself, sets Zoey on the right path. Well, debate plus a dedicated teacher. Though I do think the teacher was not featured enough.
Fuchsia’s plot is rushed. It is directly tied to Zoey’s ending so I wish her struggles had been explored more. It made the ending feel too convenient. I enjoyed the ending as it was; I would not change the chain of events or conclusion. I just did not feel like it made sense for some of the characters involved based on the little we were given about them.
Bottom line, I loved this book. I felt all warm inside at the end. A real book about a struggling kid who changes her circumstances in a way that seems small in the grand scheme of things yet is revolutionary when you look at her life so far. It’s not a picture perfect ending. Those have their place and are not inherently unrealistic. Sometimes sweeping, grandiose change does happen through an unquantifiable mix of effort and luck. I just appreciate a middle grade book that isn’t afraid to let the ending be messy since so many people want to sanitize the truth. I’d highly recommend this book. I will be keeping an eye out for Ann Braden in the future.
TW: verbal abuse, emotional abuse, one instance of physical abuse against a child, minor instance of gun violence and gun related threats, child neglect
//
I really like the way Ann Braden tackled a serious issue in a compassionate, age appropriate manner. I’m of the mind that if a kid can have the experience in real life then they can certainly read about it.
12 year old Zoey is used to hardship. She is lonely, shy and believes she isn’t worth much to anyone. She is parentified because her mother has to work a lot and her three younger siblings are more than a handful. On top of that she slowly starts to become aware that her mother is in an emotionally abusive relationship thereby worsening her feelings of uselessness and isolation.
Now, I’m not in the habit of demonizing single mothers. There are plenty of great ones, and plenty who are, at the very least, trying their best. No good single mother sets out to live in poverty or make things difficult for their children. You could have everything together only for your spouse to die leaving the family with a single income to sustain your double income lifestyle. Depending on a number of other factors, if there is no extended family or platonic support circumstances can quickly become dire. I have a lot of sympathy for any parent who falls on hard times for one reason or another as long as they genuinely are making an honest go of it.
Zoey’s mother is not one of them.
She is not irredeemable. She has a job. She genuinely cares about her childrens’ wellbeing. She puts up with the abuse, in part, because she wants the kids to have some stability.
On the other hand, I’d argue that’s just the bare minimum for being a parent. Having multiple children with different men who are heavily implied to have been bad dudes (not abusive, just scummy guys) speaks to her poor judgment. You can’t 100% guarantee you won’t have a kid if you’re sexually active so the pregnancy in and of itself is not the problem. The fact that she ignores clear red flags early on that could have saved her from ending up pregnant in the first place is the problem. She also is legally tied forever to Lenny, the current emotionally abusive boyfriend, because she has a child with him. She forces her daughter to take on way too much responsibility, functioning like a second mother, because she has to keep the household afloat.
I am not shaming her for deciding to have kids when she didn’t have the means to take care of them or implying that it’s her fault for being abused or mistreated in her relationships. What I am saying, however, is that her mother has definitely made decisions that have left them wide open for victimization. Her personal life is not discussed in full here as the book is about Zoey, so I cannot know all the intimate details. And to be fair to her the last boyfriend was a decent person until he slipped into alcoholism, something that you can’t always predict will become an issue.
Still a pattern can still be detected of jumping headlong into bad relationships, dragging her children along to be potentially traumatized by strangers, and subsequently being trapped because she doesn’t have the means to leave when it goes south. Single parents deserve romantic love too, but her children should come first and it’s plain to see she is willing to put hers on the backburner if it means keeping or getting a boyfriend.
All of that to say, while I had great sympathy for her situation as it is not an easy position to be in I could not bring myself to like her.
Obviously, it is super difficult for an abused person to leave. I believe the statistic is something like on average it takes seven times to successfully do so? I’m also aware it can be physically dangerous to leave so I don’t blame people for staying as they get their ducks in a row or needing time to bring themselves to consider it. It’s more so the people who over time end up complicit in the abuse towards others because they have not left. It’s just a really sad, complicated situation because that person is still a victim and has had their spirit broken, but to a point it can be said they have made a decision to stay. The kids have not and my heart goes out to them more than anything.
Spoiler
Especially in this case, where when Zoe tries to confront her mother about Lenny, her mother slaps Zoey and tells her not to ruin a good thing they’ve got. If you can still like the mom after that, you have much greater capacity for empathy than I do which is saying something given how sensitive I know I am.As a device, I loved her. Braden managed to fit an untold amount of complexity into a supporting character. She was a painfully realistic depiction that I’m sure many people can connect with. I could see why Zoey loved her. At the same time I could also see all the seeds of resentment and betrayal her mother was sowing for Zoey to reap in a few years when she gets old enough to understand the cracks in the foundation.
The outcome of this novel is bittersweet because Zoey’s happy ending is fundamentally wrapped up in a further loss of her innocence. She won’t be in so much emotional turmoil any more, but at what cost? At least I can be happy that going forward she has been given more tools to succeed than she previously ever knew. When I tell you this girls’ self esteem is low, I mean like shy of the Mariana Trench low. Reading about her learning to recognize her own worth, bucking the cycle her mother has unintentionally set them up for was massively satisfying.
For all the praise I have for the character development, I cannot say the same for the debate storyline. The synopsis suggests debate is the key to Zoey unlocking her hidden potential. I’d say it’s more of a catalyst. I think it comes in enough that I wouldn’t say it’s a waste, but debate is not nearly as important as I thought it would be. It’s more the act of joining debate, not debating itself, sets Zoey on the right path. Well, debate plus a dedicated teacher. Though I do think the teacher was not featured enough.
Fuchsia’s plot is rushed. It is directly tied to Zoey’s ending so I wish her struggles had been explored more. It made the ending feel too convenient. I enjoyed the ending as it was; I would not change the chain of events or conclusion. I just did not feel like it made sense for some of the characters involved based on the little we were given about them.
Bottom line, I loved this book. I felt all warm inside at the end. A real book about a struggling kid who changes her circumstances in a way that seems small in the grand scheme of things yet is revolutionary when you look at her life so far. It’s not a picture perfect ending. Those have their place and are not inherently unrealistic. Sometimes sweeping, grandiose change does happen through an unquantifiable mix of effort and luck. I just appreciate a middle grade book that isn’t afraid to let the ending be messy since so many people want to sanitize the truth. I’d highly recommend this book. I will be keeping an eye out for Ann Braden in the future.