A review by v_larr
Crooked Kingdom by Leigh Bardugo

5.0

Update July 2023: THE PIT IN THE BOTTOM OF YOUR STOMACH WHEN YOU FINISH A MASTERPIECE……I HAVEN’T FELT THIS IN SO LONG…….Absolutely phenomenal. This duology will be subject to a two hour video essay one day in the near future.

Literally had to sleep on it because I have so much to say yet not so much? I think? I tend to believe that and then I go and write 2000 words so we'll have to see how this goes for me. The issue with this book is that I don't know if I actually paid enough attention (I actually had a life this week and so it'd be *insert busy thing here* then *read this book* then *other busy thing* so I remember the events of this book in chunks) so I'm not sure what my memory will come up with. Wish me luck, I guess.

I have to start by saying that I'm not quite sure which book in the duology I actually liked more. I think this one made me feel a lot more emotions? I was definitely closing the book so I could take a moment for my feelings to catch up quite often. And when I started reading some friends told me CK is more about characters and relationships while SoC was more plot-structured, and I have to say I agree. While SoC was "group of misfits embark on a prison break," CK is more "who cares what happens we just need THIS MAN broken and destroyed for what he did, meanwhile, have some character and relationship developments." SoC had a clearer beginning, middle, and end, focusing on one heist with different parts in it. In CK, a lot of things go wrong, so there's a lot of turning back and coming up with a new, hopefully more successful plan. I remember when they were working on the sugar silos heist I was super anxious because it was only halfway through the book so I knew something had to go incredibly wrong. And well, it did. I think there were three main plans? Return Inej, the sugar silos, the auction, am I missing anything? Not gonna lie though, all brilliant plans.

So I think I have to start by talking about getting Inej back. I really hoped she wouldn't be kidnapped for the majority of the book because I felt like unless Van Eck was REALLY creative, Inej's perspective would get pretty repetitive, so I'm glad they got her back after like 1oo pages. I heard around that apparently we don't even get Kaz's point of view until they get Inej back, and to be honest, I didn't even realize that! It really makes sense though, he's in kind of this haze where I feel like his only thoughts would be "Save Inej, destroy Van Eck" on repeat. Poor guy, honestly. I actually really liked Inej's point of view during the beginning, I kept rooting for her and even though I knew she may be falling into some traps, I hoped she'd make it out. Inej, love of my life! I adore you! When she though Kaz had fallen for Van Eck's trap, I was so anxious I couldn't even keep reading. I had to close the book for a moment. But of course, who can outsmart KAZ! Brilliant little bastard.

Actually, speaking of Inej, I realized there was something imperative I completely forgot to mention in my last review: NINEJ!!!!!! NINA AND INEJ!! My brain switches between shipping them and just loving their friendship but either way, they are absolute goals. I can't believe I didn't talk about them last time. They just seem like they care for each other so damn much and they're so lovely and yes we love healthy relationships between girl friends who are so wholesome but could destroy you before you even realized you were an enemy. I'm thinking especially when Nina was watching Inej during the sugar heist and was so worried for her she summoned the corpses to get the net and help her.......Oh my God....I gained 100 years to my lifespan reading that.

Oh yeah, Nina! I was really glad they actually did something with the parem withdrawals. Starting the book, it seemed like Nina was completely fine and I was thinking, what the hell? You'd think this highly addictive drug that kills Grisha would have some pretty crappy withdrawal symptoms and, well, pretty crappy doesn't even begin to describe it. I really hope we get more information about what's happened to Nina in King of Scars, because her arc seems really open ended as of right now. What DID happen to her powers? Is it permanent? Stuff like that was kept unanswered which is fair if you're going to continue the series. But in this case it's more like Bardugo's continuing the world and we'll see Nina outside of SoC. It seems pretty cool though, that ability to manipulate the dead. Oh, and when she used it on Matthias! Oh my God! Holy crap! She can bring people back from the dead? Or is this some sort of Harry Potter Resurrection Stone type of thing where it's not really worth it?

Man I'm doing well with transitioning right now, I do want to talk about Matthias. To be perfectly honest, I didn't like him as much in this book. I really enjoyed his struggle with unlearning his toxic culture last book, and seeing the way he pined for Nina was really funny (she was pretty much corrupting him and I was all here for it) but this book it seemed like oh yeah, that's over (not completely cause he still has some biases), now you just have Couple. Which isn't bad! Not at all! But I guess I felt like there was something going on with Matthias' character arc that I just wasn't getting. And to have it end the way it did felt like it was prematurely cut short. I just didn't really like the way he died, it feels like he kind of failed? Which I guess from a writing standpoint could represent the fact that death doesn't care about your goals, and then there was the irony in who killed him, basically a past version of himself, meaning his past basically caught up with him...Okay, I can acknowledge that, but it just felt too small? Like it went by too fast and it just didn't hit me as hard as it should've considering he was part of the main crew.

Okay, good transitions over. Now I'm just gonna switch to something completely unrelated, and someone I can't BELIEVE it took this long to finally mention.

WE GOT WYLAN'S POV!!!!!!! WE GOT WYLAN'S POV!!!!! WYLAN HAS TO BE MY FAVOURITE ASIDE FROM JESPER I JUST ADORE HIM SO DAMNED MUCH AND I.
->I will protect it
->I want to see it grow up healthy
->I want to tell my friends and neighbours about it
I mean, it's really interesting, having Wylan as a member of the group because he doesn't really fit in. He's the newbie. He didn't have to grow up with violence. He was pampered for and was just introduced into this life. And then it turns out his father is even MORE of a jackass than originally thought and he's kinda just not cut out for it. I'm remembering this quote.
In the end, he was not Nina or Matthias or Kaz or Inej or Jesper. He was just Wylan Van Eck. He told them everything.

LIKE THE ISSUE HERE IS THAT LATER ON EVERYTHING WORKED OUT! On the one hand, thank goodness, but on the other hand, was Wylan lying to me during the narration or was he just not told about the plan...I was so confused...Well anyways, I really liked the whole thing with his mother. Gotta admit, it is a bit of a trope to have the dead parent (mother in particular) actually alive (I'm thinking....Curious Incident? Don't remember the rest of the title) but I'm not complaining all that much. I was really sad seeing her and seeing her paintings, the fact that he went to visit her and she didn't realize it was him...Sobs. And it really shows even more how much of a dick Van Eck is, sending the mom away, trying to kill his son! Oh poor Wylan, reading his backstory made me so sad. And again, makes me want to just harm Van Eck. Guess I'm adding the jerk to my list of characters I just hate intensely. OH one more thing, when Wylan spit in Van Eck's face...when Wylan stood up to his dad by "reading" the document, humiliating the man even further...YES I LOVE YOU.

Ohhhhhhh and Wylan and Jesper I love them. Like ok if I could be a part of that relationship I would go for it so fast. They're amazing and I am in love with them and they like each other and they're cute (Wylan specifically I can't get ENOUGH of Jesper's flirting and Wylan getting all flustered) and they work well together ok. When the dad was telling Wylan that he's good for Jesper and then later on Jesper's thinking that Wylan's too good for him...Stop....Stop my heart I can't take this...And then when Jesper was helping out while Wylan was getting his face back and Wylan's like "You paid attention?" And Jesper's like "I like your stupid face" LIKE YEAH...I...I....I....Anyways I WILL be drawing or writing them singing and playing the flute together goodbye.

Ugh yes and then Jesper PLEASE. LOVE OF MY DAMN LIFE. I really liked his arc in this book especially with everything that happened with his father like. Yeah, Jesper's a total screw up and he's neglecting his abilities but he decides to try and get better. I liked the bit that mentioned how Grisha get sick when they don't use their powers, and maybe Jesper's sickness isn't just being frail or with the flu, but rather his addiction. That's important because addiction is a disease! Every time I read about him losing and losing I feel so bad for him and it's like you can't really blame people. After the first time it can just really mess you up and it sucks. But then with his dad I was just so sad because the dad wanted him to hide his abilities because of what happened to his mom (oh gosh Jesper's backstory didn't break my heart the way everyone else's did but man I was still sad) and it just. Man. I like how he's going to take more accountability and stop running from things. And can I just say, the fight between Kaz and Jesper fucking broke my heart.
“What do you think my forgiveness looks like, Jordie?”

“Who the hell is Jordie?”

PLEASE THE WAY HE THINKS OF HIM AS A BROTHER AND KNOWS WHAT COULD HAPPEN WHEN YOU GO DOWN THAT ROAD I'M SO SAD I'M SO SAD I'M SO DAMN SAD PLEASE BYE. I will continue to say Jesper I am free Friday night are you free Friday night to go on a date Friday night when I am free. Oh yeah, also the time Jesper suggested Kaz give him the parem made me laugh. Like how dumb could you be? It's ok Jesper I still love you.

Anyways, continuing on with ships! KANEJ HOLY CRAP THE KANEJ WAS DAMN INTENSE! I was so sad that Inej really believed Kaz thought of her as nothing more than some useful investment and that he'd give up on her if she ever proved useless.....Sweetheart no he's in love with you are you kidding me? And then when Kaz was so intent on getting her back like holy moly calm down you'll get her back wow...AND THEN. THEN. CHAPTERS. 26. AND. 27. OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD. I WAS IN PAIN. Like these poor kids are touch-starved AND touch-repulsed....That's total torture! The bandages scene? JESUS. I WAS IN PAIN. Like just the fact that they want each other so bad but they've got all this trauma and baggage that won't let them be together and it's something they kind of have to work with themselves but they also need each other to..I'm not making sense. Let me try again. It's the way Kaz tried to get over the touching thing before and it really messed him up, even with that he's willing to try again for Inej...Sheesh...And I don't know but Inej hits hard considering her trauma is a result of sexual abuse aside from everything else at the Menagerie...And she's still willing to try with Kaz...This time I guess out of her own volition rather than just her being paid for and used...I'm so upset man. And it's not like it's miraculously cured like it still messes them both up he couldn't touch her without having to get away from there and she UNDERSTANDS but she also sets boundaries because as she should. Like they really have to work on their own individual traumas before they can think of being together and it seems like something they're doing bit by bit. I just have to say that part at the end where they held hands...The slow burn never hurt as much as it did then. Then again, see? You don't need couples to kiss to show how much they care about each other! Sometimes holding hands can be so powerful! And then when he bought her the ship and called it The Wraith and then he found her parents oh my oh my oh my oh my he loves her he loves her so much and I am absolutely heartbroken. Edit while I'm looking over my review: I forgot to mention that time when Kaz tells Inej that if she cared about him then don't follow, but she follows anyways? Amazing. Screw his manipulation he KNOWS she's gonna follow him if he's walking right into danger!

Also sheesh I can't believe after all this time I forgot to talk about Kaz himself! I mean all I really want to talk about is his strength when he goes back to the Dregs even though everyone's after him. That scene was incredible and so intense I was in shock and it's one of the scenes I can still vividly visualize. The way that he fought everyone physically and then mentally? The fact that he convinced almost everyone to join him before he completed going down the stairs? I mean the whole part of him fighting each person that attacks him and him with his speeches and natural leadership, each represented with him walking, stumbling, crawling down each flight of stairs? Incredible. And yeah, Per Haskell deserved to lose everything, it was about TIME Kaz took his rightful place as leader! And the way Kaz KNEW Inej was there and he still wanted to prove he could do it on his own? Stupid, stupid ego, but at least it worked out. That boy is fricking powerful.

OKAY RAPID FIRE ROUND BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS REVIEW FOR HOURS.
->GENYA AND ZOYA!!! GENYA!!!! GENYA SHE PUT WYLAN'S FACE BACK GENYA GENYA!!! ZOYA! WINE MOM ZOYA!
-> S T U R M H O N D. I THOUGHT I'D NEVER SEE HIM AGAIN AFTER THE REVEAL IN SIEGE OF STORM (Sturmhond>Nikolai I said it) BUT THERE HE WAS!!!! OH MY GOD!!!! AND SEEING JESPER FANBOY OVER STURMHOND!!!! MY BOYFRIENDS INTERACTING OH MY GOD. AND THEN KAZ AND STURMHOND LIKE THE TWO MOST POPULAR GRISHAVERSE CHARACTERS INTERACTING I WANTED TO CRY OF HAPPINESS! STURMHOND GOING "Let's say, hypothetically, I was the king of Ravka" AFTER KAZ CALLED HIM OUT OH MY GOD PLEASE
->I kinda liked Dunyasha. Just because I liked seeing Inej kick her ass. And I pictured Paper Star from Carmen Sandiego when reading those scenes with her in them hahaha.
->Kuwei is such a little shit, I kinda skipped past the scene where he kissed Jesper cause I had gotten that spoiled and I didn't want that embarrassment whoopsies.
->I'm still a little confused about the Shu winged people trying to kidnap Grisha...Will that also be addressed in King of Scars? I don't think that was entirely completed either...
->Forgot to mention but talking about Kuwei reminded me, I liked how Jesper and Wylan said screw you to the miscommunication trope and actually talked about what happened with Kuwei like. The bar was so low but they skipped over it and for that I am grateful.
->But honestly, I hear people say you don't have to read the Shadow and Bone trilogy to read Six of Crows and I have to say I disagree! Because then you don't get the excitement of Genya and Zoya and Sturmhond! And I feel like I have to read King of Scars now because there are a lot of questions left unanswered in this book that I really hope may get answered later.
->The way Van Eck and Pekka Rollins were defeated was absolutely beautiful. The way everything was set up to make it seem like Van Eck was the cheater all along during the auction? Where everything and everyone turned against him since all he was spouting was allegedly nonsense? The way he unknowingly gave everything he owned to Wylan, the son he considered so worthless he almost had him killed? HA. SUCK ON THAT VAN ECK YOU SON OF A BITCH. And Pekka Rollins, wow! I mean, the whole son thing really came out of nowhere. But seeing Rollins, this all powerful gang leader who indirectly killed Jordie and had Kaz scheming for like five years, brought to cowardice? And then when the Wraith threatened him in his own home? Brilliant. I love seeing powerful men brought down. Screw the rich. THIS BOOK REALLY SAID EAT THE RICH AND I LOVE IT.

Ok. I think...That should be it...