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A review by danni_faith
All Happy Families: A Memoir by Hervé Le Tellier
5.0
After having let this book sit with me for some time, I can say this is my favorite memoir. Generally speaking, memoirs are deemed worthy of being published by their uniqueness. Prior to reading this book held that to be true. This changed disabused me of that belief.
Herve Le Tellier and Adriana Hunter team up again—Hunter previously translated his novel, Enough About Love. The title of this book borrows from the opening line of Anna Karenina, "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way," and lurks in the background of this entire book. Le Tellier tells us about his time growing up in Paris, living mostly with his mother and stepfather but mostly being raised by this grandparents. He shares his family tree, divulging a bit about their inner-lives of his biological and adopted families. He does this with the distanced afforded by old age (also the passing of his father and stepfather and the dementia of his mother), tender honesty, and dry humor.
At the heart of this tale of a mother with undiagnosed mental illness, an enabling servile stepfather, and an absentee father is a stance against the notion that children must love their parents regardless of whether the parents are worthy of love. I was impressed by how Tellier was not preachy nor bitter. He was neither physically abused, robbed of opportunity, nor encouraged to a sordid life. By all accounts, his upbringing was unremarkable and so normal. His parents like all parents had flaws, and he simply didn't have a loving relationship with them. This is quite a common experience. This is what makes this memoir so worthy of praise. Parents, especially mothers, are revered, which is understandable and in many cases deserved, but it leaves little room for one to share that they are not close to their parent(s). When someone does reveal that they are met with well-intented suspicion (What did you do? But that's your mom/dad! How could you not love them?). I love that this is titled, All Happy Families because although Tolstoy asserts that all happy families are alike, in actuality all families are like in the way that Le Tellier is describing: Parents are imperfect and are supposed to be loved irrespective of personality and behavior.
This memoir was at times sober, critical, and flat-out funny. I read this book in 24-hours. I laughed for most of that time. Le Tellier is a fantastic storyteller. I think this is the best memoir for its capture of a quietly whispered but well-lived truth.
Herve Le Tellier and Adriana Hunter team up again—Hunter previously translated his novel, Enough About Love. The title of this book borrows from the opening line of Anna Karenina, "All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way," and lurks in the background of this entire book. Le Tellier tells us about his time growing up in Paris, living mostly with his mother and stepfather but mostly being raised by this grandparents. He shares his family tree, divulging a bit about their inner-lives of his biological and adopted families. He does this with the distanced afforded by old age (also the passing of his father and stepfather and the dementia of his mother), tender honesty, and dry humor.
At the heart of this tale of a mother with undiagnosed mental illness, an enabling servile stepfather, and an absentee father is a stance against the notion that children must love their parents regardless of whether the parents are worthy of love. I was impressed by how Tellier was not preachy nor bitter. He was neither physically abused, robbed of opportunity, nor encouraged to a sordid life. By all accounts, his upbringing was unremarkable and so normal. His parents like all parents had flaws, and he simply didn't have a loving relationship with them. This is quite a common experience. This is what makes this memoir so worthy of praise. Parents, especially mothers, are revered, which is understandable and in many cases deserved, but it leaves little room for one to share that they are not close to their parent(s). When someone does reveal that they are met with well-intented suspicion (What did you do? But that's your mom/dad! How could you not love them?). I love that this is titled, All Happy Families because although Tolstoy asserts that all happy families are alike, in actuality all families are like in the way that Le Tellier is describing: Parents are imperfect and are supposed to be loved irrespective of personality and behavior.
This memoir was at times sober, critical, and flat-out funny. I read this book in 24-hours. I laughed for most of that time. Le Tellier is a fantastic storyteller. I think this is the best memoir for its capture of a quietly whispered but well-lived truth.