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A review by thesuperkim
Hole in My Life by Jack Gantos
4.0
“I have learned this: it is not what one does that is wrong, but what one becomes as a consequence of it.”
With a foreword like that, it would be easy to guess what the book is about.
While most children's book author would rather not show their "dark side" to the public, Jack Gantos puts his out in the open. I mean, why would you when have impressionable young children as your target market? But then again, why not?
I have always adored authors who wrote children's fiction realistically. I mean, after all, the world is not a wish-granting factory. I think raising your kids in the wonderful world of Disney - where everything can be conquered by singing, dancing, love, and friendship, is admirable; and frankly, troubling.
Jack Gantos recounts how his dreams of becoming a writer and making it out of whatever town they happen to be in, lead to him making a series of rather questionable decisions. He was offered a way out of St. Croix and into Manhattan, he knew they would be smuggling drugs, he knew there would be consequences to getting caught smuggling drugs. He knew it was illegal. But to some extent, this is the only way he could see himself getting out of the town and into New York. Where he could be the writer he dreams to be.
However, to be clear, this isn't an apology. He knew he made a mistake, he wasn't apologizing for it. He wasn't making excuses for it, though if he tried, he could have a lot.
"At first I pointed the finger at everyone else - my family, my friends, the gang of backstabbers that I worked with in the smuggling ring. I burned them all on the bonfire of blame. But that didn't give me any relief. Had someone else been responsible for what I had done, I supposed my blaming them would have satisfied me. But it didn't. So I threw myself on the fire and went up like gasoline. I smuggled the hash. I took the money. I hurt my family. NO FIRE RAGES LIKE GUILT."
This is an all-out, acceptance of a mistake and its consequences. He laid out facts, he does not justify his actions, and it's up to the readers what they take from that.
"It was crushing. I felt like screaming. Even though I had f*cked up, I wasn't a f*ck up, but there was no way I could explain this to anyone. After all, it didn't matter who I was, it was what I have done that now defined me."
P.S Jack Gantos said in the book:
“Each time I read a book, I cataloged the parts that struck me dumb with envy and admiration for their beauty and power and truth.”
and because of it started collecting book excerpts and quotes from the books I've read. Not because of envy because I don't think I'll ever be a writer, but because I would like to be ready should I ever find myself in certain situations where I have nothing to say.
With a foreword like that, it would be easy to guess what the book is about.
While most children's book author would rather not show their "dark side" to the public, Jack Gantos puts his out in the open. I mean, why would you when have impressionable young children as your target market? But then again, why not?
I have always adored authors who wrote children's fiction realistically. I mean, after all, the world is not a wish-granting factory. I think raising your kids in the wonderful world of Disney - where everything can be conquered by singing, dancing, love, and friendship, is admirable; and frankly, troubling.
Jack Gantos recounts how his dreams of becoming a writer and making it out of whatever town they happen to be in, lead to him making a series of rather questionable decisions. He was offered a way out of St. Croix and into Manhattan, he knew they would be smuggling drugs, he knew there would be consequences to getting caught smuggling drugs. He knew it was illegal. But to some extent, this is the only way he could see himself getting out of the town and into New York. Where he could be the writer he dreams to be.
However, to be clear, this isn't an apology. He knew he made a mistake, he wasn't apologizing for it. He wasn't making excuses for it, though if he tried, he could have a lot.
"At first I pointed the finger at everyone else - my family, my friends, the gang of backstabbers that I worked with in the smuggling ring. I burned them all on the bonfire of blame. But that didn't give me any relief. Had someone else been responsible for what I had done, I supposed my blaming them would have satisfied me. But it didn't. So I threw myself on the fire and went up like gasoline. I smuggled the hash. I took the money. I hurt my family. NO FIRE RAGES LIKE GUILT."
This is an all-out, acceptance of a mistake and its consequences. He laid out facts, he does not justify his actions, and it's up to the readers what they take from that.
"It was crushing. I felt like screaming. Even though I had f*cked up, I wasn't a f*ck up, but there was no way I could explain this to anyone. After all, it didn't matter who I was, it was what I have done that now defined me."
P.S Jack Gantos said in the book:
“Each time I read a book, I cataloged the parts that struck me dumb with envy and admiration for their beauty and power and truth.”
and because of it started collecting book excerpts and quotes from the books I've read. Not because of envy because I don't think I'll ever be a writer, but because I would like to be ready should I ever find myself in certain situations where I have nothing to say.