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A review by maleehaa96
Dancing in the Mosque: An Afghan Mother's Letter to Her Son by Homeira Qaderi
5.0
“I know that in some countries, getting an education is a woman’s right, but from where I came, it was not.”
"My son, in your motherland the mentioning of a woman's name outside the family circle is a source of shame."
"I am trying to save myself and, by doing that, perhaps save other women as well."
"Pain and grief adorn a woman, she said. You should accept if for your own comfort."
Homeira Qaderi was born in Afghanistan and spent her 17 years in the midst of war. First at the hands of the Russians and then at the hands of the Taliban. During the latter, strict rules were enforced regarding women's participation in afghani society and culture. Women were to be kept off the streets unless accompanied by a related male and absolutely no form of education for women was tolerated. Being the rebel she is Qaderi decided to continue learning and teaching the younger generation of Afghanistan in secret. Even as she encountered near death experiences Qaderi's will to continue learning never wavered. At the age of 17 she was married off, for her own protection and dignity, to a (Afghani) man she never met or knew. As luck would have it the two of them settled in Iran and Homeira continued her education eventually earning a PhD. Shortly after, the two moved back to Afghanistan and the condition of her life regressed to her childhood. Qaderi writes this book in an attempt to tell her life story to first and most important audience member: her son. Due to child custody laws, upon a divorce women lose any and all parental rights to their children.
I don’t know if I have the proper words to articulate how deeply I felt this book. Having grown up in Pakistan for the first decade of my life and being a South Asian woman, the community subscribes to a lot of ideologies and beliefs presented in this book. The existence of a women and girls is often viewed as a lesson or punishment or a debt that can only be paid off by accepting the conditions of our life. We are instructed to do as we are told and any consequences of rebellion is our own doing.
There were many parts in the book where I felt like I was reading a chapter out of my own life. For instance Homeira's mother and grandmother often scold her for not being as accommodating and subservient as girls ought to be. I see this so often in Pakistani and Indian culture. While men set the agenda for how a woman should behave, its other women (often mothers) that further that agenda by enforcing the demands a woman must comply with.
The pursuit of education for Homeira and other girls in this book was perhaps the most touching to me. A few years ago I had the chance to reconnect with girls I was friends with back home. I was saddened to learn that most if not all had not pursued education because for a woman education was not seen as important nor was it encouraged. I know women in my family who have married men overseas and had their in laws make request that they not pursue education or work because that's their husband's job. All this is to say that of course taking education away from girls and woman is done so widely because it serves as a tool for oppression. On the surface reading Charles Dickens or learning how to calculate an integral poses no threat. What these practices actually do is teach you how to think, how to question your beliefs and others. This is something that many women in these cultures and countries are actively discouraged to do.
I would recommend this book a hundred times over especially if you've had the privilege of living in a place where such practices do not occur.
"My son, in your motherland the mentioning of a woman's name outside the family circle is a source of shame."
"I am trying to save myself and, by doing that, perhaps save other women as well."
"Pain and grief adorn a woman, she said. You should accept if for your own comfort."
Homeira Qaderi was born in Afghanistan and spent her 17 years in the midst of war. First at the hands of the Russians and then at the hands of the Taliban. During the latter, strict rules were enforced regarding women's participation in afghani society and culture. Women were to be kept off the streets unless accompanied by a related male and absolutely no form of education for women was tolerated. Being the rebel she is Qaderi decided to continue learning and teaching the younger generation of Afghanistan in secret. Even as she encountered near death experiences Qaderi's will to continue learning never wavered. At the age of 17 she was married off, for her own protection and dignity, to a (Afghani) man she never met or knew. As luck would have it the two of them settled in Iran and Homeira continued her education eventually earning a PhD. Shortly after, the two moved back to Afghanistan and the condition of her life regressed to her childhood. Qaderi writes this book in an attempt to tell her life story to first and most important audience member: her son. Due to child custody laws, upon a divorce women lose any and all parental rights to their children.
I don’t know if I have the proper words to articulate how deeply I felt this book. Having grown up in Pakistan for the first decade of my life and being a South Asian woman, the community subscribes to a lot of ideologies and beliefs presented in this book. The existence of a women and girls is often viewed as a lesson or punishment or a debt that can only be paid off by accepting the conditions of our life. We are instructed to do as we are told and any consequences of rebellion is our own doing.
There were many parts in the book where I felt like I was reading a chapter out of my own life. For instance Homeira's mother and grandmother often scold her for not being as accommodating and subservient as girls ought to be. I see this so often in Pakistani and Indian culture. While men set the agenda for how a woman should behave, its other women (often mothers) that further that agenda by enforcing the demands a woman must comply with.
The pursuit of education for Homeira and other girls in this book was perhaps the most touching to me. A few years ago I had the chance to reconnect with girls I was friends with back home. I was saddened to learn that most if not all had not pursued education because for a woman education was not seen as important nor was it encouraged. I know women in my family who have married men overseas and had their in laws make request that they not pursue education or work because that's their husband's job. All this is to say that of course taking education away from girls and woman is done so widely because it serves as a tool for oppression. On the surface reading Charles Dickens or learning how to calculate an integral poses no threat. What these practices actually do is teach you how to think, how to question your beliefs and others. This is something that many women in these cultures and countries are actively discouraged to do.
I would recommend this book a hundred times over especially if you've had the privilege of living in a place where such practices do not occur.