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aiyaivy 's review for:
Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother
by Amy Chua
This book makes me realize that "everything in moderation" also applies to parenting. To start, I cannot judge this family fully as I am not a part of it and was raised differently in many aspects. Amy Chua's parenting may have worked very well for her children, and her children may now realize/understand why this form of parenting was forced upon them. However, being a Chinese daughter to immigrant parents, I must say my childhood and academic experience up till college was not like this at all. My parents were strict and definitely made their expectations clear, but they were not forcing it the way Chua did to her children.
Amy Chua definitely loves her children. I can see that. She wants the best for them and has a standard of excellence she wants them to meet. However, I found this book frustrating. While her children are successful and extremely talented, I question their happiness and their fulfillment from having a childhood as such. This level of pressure for perfection on one's shoulders can be extremely anxiety-inducing and also cause a ridiculous amount of stress. I'd be surprised if her children didn't suffer from some form of anxiety or some sort of fear toward failure. I also question if they feel like some of their passions were stunted/hindered in their youth, and are only able to develop now as they are older. Did they also have a hard time connecting with peers because of the lack of exposure to other areas of life?
My parents have raised 2 well-educated and successful Chinese daughters as well but not with the same strict mentality as Amy Chua's. They want us to be respectful and also do well in school but they have also provided room for failure, for our voices to be heard, and for us to self-start any of our own passion projects. It has made me feel confident in going to my parents about everything and ask for help when needed, and it also had me dependent on myself to make the most out of my childhood/youth/career/etc. So seeing that my sister and I turned out pretty well under fairly open-minded parents, I had a hard time accepting Amy Chua's parenting because of how close-minded many of her statements seemed.
I found Amy Chua to be too much. It became very clear to me she tied a successful life to achievements when she was even looking up rankings for how smart her dog was. She has an obsession tied to proving success through accolades and achievements, and she is able to force her family to practice, to work harder, to not disobey in order to get those perfect results. However, it is clear this is not a healthy way to parent or build any relationship with those around her. My heart broke when Lulu said that she didn't have any friends because she wasn't allowed to do anything. I can't even imagine being in her position or being in this family. It seemed like everyone's voice was not heard except for Amy Chua's. Chua views her parenting as successful when her children are able to respect her while getting good grades/awards. Her parenting is good if you only look at it through how successful/talented her daughters are. In that sense, kudos to her and her daughters for being able to achieve so much. However, this kind of childhood and this kind of preparation for adulthood can also lead to a lack of fulfillment in the future.
Amy Chua definitely loves her children. I can see that. She wants the best for them and has a standard of excellence she wants them to meet. However, I found this book frustrating. While her children are successful and extremely talented, I question their happiness and their fulfillment from having a childhood as such. This level of pressure for perfection on one's shoulders can be extremely anxiety-inducing and also cause a ridiculous amount of stress. I'd be surprised if her children didn't suffer from some form of anxiety or some sort of fear toward failure. I also question if they feel like some of their passions were stunted/hindered in their youth, and are only able to develop now as they are older. Did they also have a hard time connecting with peers because of the lack of exposure to other areas of life?
My parents have raised 2 well-educated and successful Chinese daughters as well but not with the same strict mentality as Amy Chua's. They want us to be respectful and also do well in school but they have also provided room for failure, for our voices to be heard, and for us to self-start any of our own passion projects. It has made me feel confident in going to my parents about everything and ask for help when needed, and it also had me dependent on myself to make the most out of my childhood/youth/career/etc. So seeing that my sister and I turned out pretty well under fairly open-minded parents, I had a hard time accepting Amy Chua's parenting because of how close-minded many of her statements seemed.
I found Amy Chua to be too much. It became very clear to me she tied a successful life to achievements when she was even looking up rankings for how smart her dog was. She has an obsession tied to proving success through accolades and achievements, and she is able to force her family to practice, to work harder, to not disobey in order to get those perfect results. However, it is clear this is not a healthy way to parent or build any relationship with those around her. My heart broke when Lulu said that she didn't have any friends because she wasn't allowed to do anything. I can't even imagine being in her position or being in this family. It seemed like everyone's voice was not heard except for Amy Chua's. Chua views her parenting as successful when her children are able to respect her while getting good grades/awards. Her parenting is good if you only look at it through how successful/talented her daughters are. In that sense, kudos to her and her daughters for being able to achieve so much. However, this kind of childhood and this kind of preparation for adulthood can also lead to a lack of fulfillment in the future.