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A review by _askthebookbug
A Good Wife: Escaping the Life I Never Chose by Samra Zafar
5.0
R E V I E W |
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"My husband taught me how not to treat people," I explained. "He showed me what I didn't want to become. In a way, he taught me how to be strong because he forced me to be strong. Because of what he put me through, what I had to rise above, I learned what I was capable of." - Samra Zafar.
~
It comes as no secret that this book speaks of domestic abuse. Perhaps this was why I even decided to purchase a copy. When one already knows how the story unfolds, it makes it harder for the book to impress the reader. You know that there's a considerable amount of harrasment, you can already predict how women are devalued in the story but the important part comes at the very end when the author talks about her escape. This is where you get to decide if you actually like the book or not. After reading When I Hit You, I was of the opinion that nothing can make me this uncomfortable but I was wrong. Samra Zafar's story is both horrendous but also courageous.
~
At the age of seventeen, Samra is married off to a man who's a decade older than her. Her dreams of going to the university was further promised by her husband's family and the prospect of being married so early weighed a little less on her mind. While Samra and her fiancé (Ahmed) exchanged emails before their wedding, his sweet demeanor put her at ease, making her believe that maybe love does exist in arranged marriages. The wedding happens quickly and Samra walks around in trepidation throughout the entire episode. Soon after the wedding, Samra notices slight changes in her husband's family but she shrugs it off as nothing.
~
After moving to Canada, the couple spend their earliest months in a happy daze and Samra decides she made the right decision by marrying Ahmed. But soon things take an ugly turn when his parents move in, stifling Samra with unrealistic expectations. Ahmed's behaviour too turns dark, often abusing her verbally for not being a good wife and a dutiful daughter-in-law. When she realises that they will not allow her to enrol in a university, the very foundation of their marriage is pulled out from underneath her feet.
~
Samra soon learns of her calls and emails being monitored but she hopes that with the birth of her daughter, things might turn around. Years later, with two girls in tow, Samra still lives in the same hellhole where things had only gotten worse with time. By this time, Ahmed had often began hitting her and in spite of her parents being aware of the abuse, she was asked to please him more. Fed up with having to depend on her family, she decides to leave her husband, the seriousness of the situation dawning on her after he nearly chokes her. She saves money by opening a day care center post luring her mother-in-law and joins classes. It is here that Samra realises the value that a degree carries and finally breaks free after getting multiple jobs. With two kids to tend to, various jobs and classes to attend, Samra turns her life around. Her journey was tedious which sent her crashing down many times but her perseverance kept her going. With the support of friends and her mother, Samra divorces Ahmed while bagging a high paying job.
~
Undoubtedly, there are many women like Samra who are confined to their houses, without being provided education and freedom but only few women find the strength to break the chains. It's sickening how women have been conditioned to remain weak in the name of culture and religion. Samra's story is not only true but also goes to show how the urge to taste freedom imbibes a sense of individuality amongst women. I highly recommend this. A brilliant, unputdownable read.
~
Rating - 5/5.
~
"My husband taught me how not to treat people," I explained. "He showed me what I didn't want to become. In a way, he taught me how to be strong because he forced me to be strong. Because of what he put me through, what I had to rise above, I learned what I was capable of." - Samra Zafar.
~
It comes as no secret that this book speaks of domestic abuse. Perhaps this was why I even decided to purchase a copy. When one already knows how the story unfolds, it makes it harder for the book to impress the reader. You know that there's a considerable amount of harrasment, you can already predict how women are devalued in the story but the important part comes at the very end when the author talks about her escape. This is where you get to decide if you actually like the book or not. After reading When I Hit You, I was of the opinion that nothing can make me this uncomfortable but I was wrong. Samra Zafar's story is both horrendous but also courageous.
~
At the age of seventeen, Samra is married off to a man who's a decade older than her. Her dreams of going to the university was further promised by her husband's family and the prospect of being married so early weighed a little less on her mind. While Samra and her fiancé (Ahmed) exchanged emails before their wedding, his sweet demeanor put her at ease, making her believe that maybe love does exist in arranged marriages. The wedding happens quickly and Samra walks around in trepidation throughout the entire episode. Soon after the wedding, Samra notices slight changes in her husband's family but she shrugs it off as nothing.
~
After moving to Canada, the couple spend their earliest months in a happy daze and Samra decides she made the right decision by marrying Ahmed. But soon things take an ugly turn when his parents move in, stifling Samra with unrealistic expectations. Ahmed's behaviour too turns dark, often abusing her verbally for not being a good wife and a dutiful daughter-in-law. When she realises that they will not allow her to enrol in a university, the very foundation of their marriage is pulled out from underneath her feet.
~
Samra soon learns of her calls and emails being monitored but she hopes that with the birth of her daughter, things might turn around. Years later, with two girls in tow, Samra still lives in the same hellhole where things had only gotten worse with time. By this time, Ahmed had often began hitting her and in spite of her parents being aware of the abuse, she was asked to please him more. Fed up with having to depend on her family, she decides to leave her husband, the seriousness of the situation dawning on her after he nearly chokes her. She saves money by opening a day care center post luring her mother-in-law and joins classes. It is here that Samra realises the value that a degree carries and finally breaks free after getting multiple jobs. With two kids to tend to, various jobs and classes to attend, Samra turns her life around. Her journey was tedious which sent her crashing down many times but her perseverance kept her going. With the support of friends and her mother, Samra divorces Ahmed while bagging a high paying job.
~
Undoubtedly, there are many women like Samra who are confined to their houses, without being provided education and freedom but only few women find the strength to break the chains. It's sickening how women have been conditioned to remain weak in the name of culture and religion. Samra's story is not only true but also goes to show how the urge to taste freedom imbibes a sense of individuality amongst women. I highly recommend this. A brilliant, unputdownable read.
~
Rating - 5/5.