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A review by _askthebookbug
Shame by Jasvinder Sanghera
5.0
• r e v i e w •
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I accidentally stumbled across Jasvinder's TED talk last year and was immensely inspired by her courage to chase freedom at a young age of 15. It's shocking to learn that casteism can thrive gloriously even in countries like the United Kingdom. Jasvinder, who was shunned by her community for choosing to live life on her own terms and who survived on a hand to mouth basis for years was appointed as CBE in 2013 for helping other girls/women who were pushed into forced marriages. While Jasvinder escaped forced marriage, most girls weren't so lucky and few of them even succumbed to suicide. Shame is often used while talking about a woman's honour. But what is honour really when all it does is kills dreams and takes lives?
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Jasvinder grew up in Derby in a traditional Sikh family with several of her siblings. But it was her brother who always scored special treatment from her parents. Living in a guarded community, Jas wasn't even allowed to cut her hair or put on makeup for it was considered too frivolous. Girls were liabilities, someone who were arranged to be married off at just 15. After witnessing abusive marriages around her including that of her sisters', Jas decides to run away when she's presented with a man much older than her who was to be her husband. Her parents'expected rejection of her Punjabi boyfriend because he belonged to a lower status was the final push that freed Jas. The two struggle to survive outside the community and for many years, she is cut off from the family.
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Jas tries to rekindle her relationship with her family after her daughter's birth but things were never the same again. Her failed relationships, marriages and bad decisions were what made her the strong woman that she is now. When her sister Robina commits suicide, she promises to help women who are pushed in to forced marriages. Her organization Karma Nirvana has been assisting thousands of women ever since. Jas's story is not one of victimization but is of survival. I could never understand her mother's cold behaviour, about the fact that parents can be so ruthless in the name of religion and honour.
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Many young girls are still being sent to India on the pretense of visiting families but end up returning as married women when they're just teenagers. They are sent back to their husbands' homes in spite of being beaten to death. Honour is a burden to be carried and is often thrusted upon girls to carry it till they die. In a recent book that I read by Kavita Krishnan, she urges women to be shameless in asking what they want and then to go and get it done. Shame isn't a woman's burden to be carried neither is honour. Jasvinder's life is nothing short of a miracle but her conscious decision to choose freedom even though it came at a cost was something that made me feel proud. I definitely recommend this autobiography.
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Rating : 4.5/5.
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I accidentally stumbled across Jasvinder's TED talk last year and was immensely inspired by her courage to chase freedom at a young age of 15. It's shocking to learn that casteism can thrive gloriously even in countries like the United Kingdom. Jasvinder, who was shunned by her community for choosing to live life on her own terms and who survived on a hand to mouth basis for years was appointed as CBE in 2013 for helping other girls/women who were pushed into forced marriages. While Jasvinder escaped forced marriage, most girls weren't so lucky and few of them even succumbed to suicide. Shame is often used while talking about a woman's honour. But what is honour really when all it does is kills dreams and takes lives?
.
Jasvinder grew up in Derby in a traditional Sikh family with several of her siblings. But it was her brother who always scored special treatment from her parents. Living in a guarded community, Jas wasn't even allowed to cut her hair or put on makeup for it was considered too frivolous. Girls were liabilities, someone who were arranged to be married off at just 15. After witnessing abusive marriages around her including that of her sisters', Jas decides to run away when she's presented with a man much older than her who was to be her husband. Her parents'expected rejection of her Punjabi boyfriend because he belonged to a lower status was the final push that freed Jas. The two struggle to survive outside the community and for many years, she is cut off from the family.
.
Jas tries to rekindle her relationship with her family after her daughter's birth but things were never the same again. Her failed relationships, marriages and bad decisions were what made her the strong woman that she is now. When her sister Robina commits suicide, she promises to help women who are pushed in to forced marriages. Her organization Karma Nirvana has been assisting thousands of women ever since. Jas's story is not one of victimization but is of survival. I could never understand her mother's cold behaviour, about the fact that parents can be so ruthless in the name of religion and honour.
.
Many young girls are still being sent to India on the pretense of visiting families but end up returning as married women when they're just teenagers. They are sent back to their husbands' homes in spite of being beaten to death. Honour is a burden to be carried and is often thrusted upon girls to carry it till they die. In a recent book that I read by Kavita Krishnan, she urges women to be shameless in asking what they want and then to go and get it done. Shame isn't a woman's burden to be carried neither is honour. Jasvinder's life is nothing short of a miracle but her conscious decision to choose freedom even though it came at a cost was something that made me feel proud. I definitely recommend this autobiography.
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Rating : 4.5/5.