You need to sign in or sign up before continuing.
Take a photo of a barcode or cover
allisonwonderlandreads 's review for:
Sounds Fake But Okay: An Asexual and Aromantic Perspective on Love, Relationships, Sex, and Pretty Much Anything Else
by Kayla Kaszyca, Sarah Costello
informative
lighthearted
fast-paced
Sounds Fake But Okay is a book that takes an aspec (ace spectrum and aro spectrum) lens and applies it to experiences where social norms can limit people of those identities... so all of them. Or at least all of them could be, though only a selected few are covered here. The authors tout a "don't should" approach, re: social pressures and expectations, meaning that any internalized thought about how a person "should" behave or feel ought to be questioned through an aspec lens because it's not likely to serve us.
There were a few interesting takeaways for me. One is the term aplatonic to describe people who don't feel a drive toward building platonic relationships. It shows how even the emphasis on friendships in the aspec community can alienate some experiences. Another thing is that while I know about alternatives to romantic/sexual partnership, this was my first time hearing about "the relationship escalator" to describe the normative route to forming and maintaining the classic monogamous relationship. I find the concept amusing.
As a non-podcast style of person (I know-- am I even a millennial??), I'm not familiar with the authors' work and don't hold a particular fan allegiance to them. And while I applaud any book on aroace experiences hitting shelves and reaching more people who need the information, this particular volume doesn't stand out to me. And there are so many that do! Since I seek these kinds of books out and the topic means a lot to me, I tend to get something positive from the experience. That's true here, too, it's just not particularly groundbreaking compared to other great options, even in a small field. On that note, someone who hasn't read widely on this topic might have a better experience since they won't be busy making comparisons. I just think I'd recommend something different to a curious reader. Thanks to Jessica Kingsley for my copy to read and review!
There were a few interesting takeaways for me. One is the term aplatonic to describe people who don't feel a drive toward building platonic relationships. It shows how even the emphasis on friendships in the aspec community can alienate some experiences. Another thing is that while I know about alternatives to romantic/sexual partnership, this was my first time hearing about "the relationship escalator" to describe the normative route to forming and maintaining the classic monogamous relationship. I find the concept amusing.
As a non-podcast style of person (I know-- am I even a millennial??), I'm not familiar with the authors' work and don't hold a particular fan allegiance to them. And while I applaud any book on aroace experiences hitting shelves and reaching more people who need the information, this particular volume doesn't stand out to me. And there are so many that do! Since I seek these kinds of books out and the topic means a lot to me, I tend to get something positive from the experience. That's true here, too, it's just not particularly groundbreaking compared to other great options, even in a small field. On that note, someone who hasn't read widely on this topic might have a better experience since they won't be busy making comparisons. I just think I'd recommend something different to a curious reader. Thanks to Jessica Kingsley for my copy to read and review!