3.0

Okay, maybe I should not make a hobby out of reviewing LONG books directly after finishing them because right now my opinion is a lot more favorable than it was 2 days ago.
This was.... not my cup of tea. I see what the author was going for - a deep hitting, serious story about the fates of two women. It just did not work for me.
I'm GAY. I LOVE women. I love women so much. But my experience just does not align with the one this author has - and that's okay. I hated, hated, hated the constant reminders of 'Lin Wanyue is a woman, so that's why her heart is so soft. DESPITE being a woman she can be cruel too, being a woman is like THIS'. In the author notes, she says that her personal experience of being a lesbian states that for any attraction to form the gender has to be clear first. Meanwhile, I am attracted to femininity, not the actual gender, so I think we just think of the concept of 'women' very differently and that's what bothered me all throughout the work.

It's a good book - the characters are round, there's hope and there's loss, grief, joy, it spans a whole lifetime. Lots of people will like this. But I'm just not into bittersweet stories like this. I still squealed when the two found each other finally. I was happy for them and I actually REALLY love LWY, I would marry her too. She's so smart but so dumb.
But death looms above everything, this is just a very serious story. It takes itself seriously and there's no comedy relief or a lot of sweetness inbetween to cushion it and that does not work for me very well. I'm spoiled and I want to be spoiled.
SpoilerAnd honestly, if you're gonna hit me WITH MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH IN THE VERY LAST CHAPTER DON'T EXPECT ME TO SMILE UPON YOU. that goes SO FAR AGAINST MY NATURE. that's a big no from me.