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A review by koreanlinda
Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 by Cho Nam-joo
challenging
emotional
reflective
sad
fast-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? A mix
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? It's complicated
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? No
4.0
This was a hugely famous and popular book in Korea when it was published. Reading it a decade later, I understood why. It tells the story of all women having lived, are living, and will live in South Korea. Of course, it is not all-encompassing, but women-presenting people in Korea cannot escape the sexism and misogyny described in this book, perhaps partially but not entirely.
I grew up in South Korea until my high school year. While reading this book, I finally realized that every minute of my childhood was filled with experiences of sexism and misogyny. Through counseling therapy, I have already realized that the physical punishment (along with verbal and psychological abuse) by my mother and teachers was indeed violence and child abuse. (It was so normalized that I thought it was acceptable for most of my life.) However, I did not realize until now that the oppression and abuse I experienced were much bigger than my small circle of personal relationships.
I am now living in the USA, where they have a considerable portion of sexism and misogyny. However, I deem that there is a better awareness around it here, compared to South Korea. The frustration I experienced in Korea (during my residence in childhood and my visits in adulthood) and what I read in the book largely originates from the normalization of sexism and misogyny. There are small pockets of feminist groups speaking up for women's rights, but they are brutally demonized by mainstream society. Fighting for women's rights quickly feels like screaming into a void, unheard and disregarded. Even people who seem to care fail to understand women's struggles. For example, Jung, TaeHyun, a loving and supportive husband of Kim, JiYoung still considers his domestic role as "helping" her housework." JiYoung's therapist empathizes with her struggles as well as his wife's, who had also lost her career due to childbirth and parenting. However, at the end of his self-reflection, he concludes that it'd be wiser to hire unmarried female employees at his doctor's office so he doesn't lose their workforce due to their family obligations.
My heart goes out to all Kim, JiYoungs of South Korea and to my younger self, who lived in deep confusion and hurt for a long time.
Review by Linda (Any Pronouns) in April 2024
Personal essays on DefinitelyNotOkay.com
Artwork on Instagram @KoreanLinda
I grew up in South Korea until my high school year. While reading this book, I finally realized that every minute of my childhood was filled with experiences of sexism and misogyny. Through counseling therapy, I have already realized that the physical punishment (along with verbal and psychological abuse) by my mother and teachers was indeed violence and child abuse. (It was so normalized that I thought it was acceptable for most of my life.) However, I did not realize until now that the oppression and abuse I experienced were much bigger than my small circle of personal relationships.
I am now living in the USA, where they have a considerable portion of sexism and misogyny. However, I deem that there is a better awareness around it here, compared to South Korea. The frustration I experienced in Korea (during my residence in childhood and my visits in adulthood) and what I read in the book largely originates from the normalization of sexism and misogyny. There are small pockets of feminist groups speaking up for women's rights, but they are brutally demonized by mainstream society. Fighting for women's rights quickly feels like screaming into a void, unheard and disregarded. Even people who seem to care fail to understand women's struggles. For example, Jung, TaeHyun, a loving and supportive husband of Kim, JiYoung still considers his domestic role as "helping" her housework." JiYoung's therapist empathizes with her struggles as well as his wife's, who had also lost her career due to childbirth and parenting. However, at the end of his self-reflection, he concludes that it'd be wiser to hire unmarried female employees at his doctor's office so he doesn't lose their workforce due to their family obligations.
My heart goes out to all Kim, JiYoungs of South Korea and to my younger self, who lived in deep confusion and hurt for a long time.
Review by Linda (Any Pronouns) in April 2024
Personal essays on DefinitelyNotOkay.com
Artwork on Instagram @KoreanLinda
Content Warnings
Graphic: Sexism and Misogyny
Moderate: Sexual harassment and Violence