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katreena 's review for:
I Hate You - Don't Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality
by Jerold J. Kreisman
Third edition review This book is very outdated here is some information that I heard that is wrong I'm sure there's much more.
- stigmatizing language
-way too much fear mongoling I would hate if I knew he was diagnosed and was presented this as a guide to my condition as well as I would not show this to someone I was trying to explain my illness to. Books like this are why people are afraid of BPD when really it's most harmful to the person affected.
-a lot of harmful strep types about bpd and violence. It is touched on that they are likely to be in domestic abuse situations but it's also suggested that often they are the predator in these when statistically they are much more likely to be the victim. - later he claims a girl " masochistic" turns in "sadism" pushed her partner to beat her with alcohol and "then following a beating ann would war her bruises metals, reminding Liam of his violence and Ann would explain away her accidents like running in to doors. After each episode Liam would feel profoundly regretful and humiliated whole Ann presented herself as a long suffering martyr. I'm this way ann used her beating to punish liam. The identification of the victim in this relationship becomes increasingly vague" and then talks about her none BPD partner will keep coming back for more.
-including suggesting that people with borderline are likely to physically assault their therapist when most of the time when someone with BPD is discharged from therapy it's because the therapist is ill prepared to deal with the illness due to misinformation like this as well as suggesting entering into a DBT program
-transphobic language
- comparing autism and borderline the author it says that people with autism feel emotions less strong than the typical population when it's been shown that often they feel emotions more intense.
-it's one thing to have sexual promiscuity as a symptom of borderline however it is very invalid to say the most people in sex work likely have borderline. Very sex worker negative.
-claims that people with borderline personality disorder are more likely to have physical disabilities because they are attention seeking even though there is found to be a high level of autoimmune conditions likely causing the actual discomfort and disability
-why do we keep referring to DSM one when DSM 5 is mentioned as being the newest release? It's back dating the research pre the book release.
-claiming the link between BPD and chronic illness and auto immune disease are a result of attention speaking - disregarded the fact most you can physically test for.
-claiming aid epidemic was good for BPD individuals bc they would have less sex
-blames BPD identity issues for sexuality and transgender identity.
---I stopped writing down misinformation cuz it was exhausting but came back to add a few more---
-so much more content about abuse from BPD person
-talks about how therapist will grow to hate their bpd clients (emotional transference) because of symptoms and doubles down on it being a reason for the client to be discharged instead of working on their work. Affirming therapists for leaving bpd patients.
-states a BPD therapist would be likely to start a sexual relationship with clients
-once again discounting the fact that people with BPD and disabilities are not just attention seeking. This is literally so ridiculous considering that most health things are testable.
-talks about how BPD as something harder for everyone else rather then the pain of the person.
This book has some good info but it's dangerous with all of the miss information here.
- stigmatizing language
-way too much fear mongoling I would hate if I knew he was diagnosed and was presented this as a guide to my condition as well as I would not show this to someone I was trying to explain my illness to. Books like this are why people are afraid of BPD when really it's most harmful to the person affected.
-a lot of harmful strep types about bpd and violence. It is touched on that they are likely to be in domestic abuse situations but it's also suggested that often they are the predator in these when statistically they are much more likely to be the victim. - later he claims a girl " masochistic" turns in "sadism" pushed her partner to beat her with alcohol and "then following a beating ann would war her bruises metals, reminding Liam of his violence and Ann would explain away her accidents like running in to doors. After each episode Liam would feel profoundly regretful and humiliated whole Ann presented herself as a long suffering martyr. I'm this way ann used her beating to punish liam. The identification of the victim in this relationship becomes increasingly vague" and then talks about her none BPD partner will keep coming back for more.
-including suggesting that people with borderline are likely to physically assault their therapist when most of the time when someone with BPD is discharged from therapy it's because the therapist is ill prepared to deal with the illness due to misinformation like this as well as suggesting entering into a DBT program
-transphobic language
- comparing autism and borderline the author it says that people with autism feel emotions less strong than the typical population when it's been shown that often they feel emotions more intense.
-it's one thing to have sexual promiscuity as a symptom of borderline however it is very invalid to say the most people in sex work likely have borderline. Very sex worker negative.
-claims that people with borderline personality disorder are more likely to have physical disabilities because they are attention seeking even though there is found to be a high level of autoimmune conditions likely causing the actual discomfort and disability
-why do we keep referring to DSM one when DSM 5 is mentioned as being the newest release? It's back dating the research pre the book release.
-claiming the link between BPD and chronic illness and auto immune disease are a result of attention speaking - disregarded the fact most you can physically test for.
-claiming aid epidemic was good for BPD individuals bc they would have less sex
-blames BPD identity issues for sexuality and transgender identity.
---I stopped writing down misinformation cuz it was exhausting but came back to add a few more---
-so much more content about abuse from BPD person
-talks about how therapist will grow to hate their bpd clients (emotional transference) because of symptoms and doubles down on it being a reason for the client to be discharged instead of working on their work. Affirming therapists for leaving bpd patients.
-states a BPD therapist would be likely to start a sexual relationship with clients
-once again discounting the fact that people with BPD and disabilities are not just attention seeking. This is literally so ridiculous considering that most health things are testable.
-talks about how BPD as something harder for everyone else rather then the pain of the person.
This book has some good info but it's dangerous with all of the miss information here.
Content Warnings
Graphic: Ableism, Biphobia, Child abuse, Chronic illness, Domestic abuse, Drug abuse, Drug use, Eating disorder, Emotional abuse, Homophobia, Infidelity, Mental illness, Panic attacks/disorders, Self harm, Suicidal thoughts, Suicide, Terminal illness, Toxic relationship, Transphobia, Violence, Forced institutionalization, Medical content, Medical trauma, Suicide attempt, Death of parent, Schizophrenia/Psychosis , Lesbophobia, Gaslighting, Toxic friendship, Alcohol, Classism
Sex negative and full of misinformation