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A review by miss_merna
The Iron King by Julie Kagawa
2.0
Actual rating: 1.49
The Iron king was crammed with descriptions of dragons, trolls, and whatever mythical creature there is. Not to forget, forbidden love between a prince and a princess. At times you would forget this was not a children’s book, but then there were times when these mythical creatures got a little sexual…
“I see you like it a little rough,” he wheezed, brushing himself off. Shaking his head, he ran a tongue over his lips and stepped forward. “That’s okay, we can do rough, right boys?”
But then wait. Where the hell is that love interest who’s going to rescue this irritating heroine, and give a sarcastic remark along the way?
Oh, there he comes.
“So can I.” a dark shape glided out the trees. “This one,” Ash growled, “is off-limit.”
No sarcastic remark? Oh, I was really hoping for one-
“No one touches her,” Ash said, his voice coated with frost. “Touch her, and I’ll freeze your testicles and put them in a jar.”
What?
The Iron king had a big massive pile of dry humour. I mean only an 11 year old would laugh at these colossal fail attempts at jokes. ONLY.
Should I unravel the ridiculous plot to you?
The story centers on a normal girl named Meghan Chase who lives in a farm, and complains consistently about not having a mobile phone. She discovers that her father is some important dude in fairyland. Her little brother gets kidnapped, and Meghan sets out to retrieve him back, so that leads to the most boring journey.
I can’t believe I actually found a fairy book worse than wicked lovely. So, according to my statistics, it’s now more possible to find a lame story these days than a decent one.
I have to make this clear.
There’s a difference between wanting to write a book and wanting to write a good story.
I suggest some authors should really figure out the difference.
The Iron king was crammed with descriptions of dragons, trolls, and whatever mythical creature there is. Not to forget, forbidden love between a prince and a princess. At times you would forget this was not a children’s book, but then there were times when these mythical creatures got a little sexual…
“I see you like it a little rough,” he wheezed, brushing himself off. Shaking his head, he ran a tongue over his lips and stepped forward. “That’s okay, we can do rough, right boys?”
But then wait. Where the hell is that love interest who’s going to rescue this irritating heroine, and give a sarcastic remark along the way?
Oh, there he comes.
“So can I.” a dark shape glided out the trees. “This one,” Ash growled, “is off-limit.”
No sarcastic remark? Oh, I was really hoping for one-
“No one touches her,” Ash said, his voice coated with frost. “Touch her, and I’ll freeze your testicles and put them in a jar.”
What?
The Iron king had a big massive pile of dry humour. I mean only an 11 year old would laugh at these colossal fail attempts at jokes. ONLY.
Should I unravel the ridiculous plot to you?
The story centers on a normal girl named Meghan Chase who lives in a farm, and complains consistently about not having a mobile phone. She discovers that her father is some important dude in fairyland. Her little brother gets kidnapped, and Meghan sets out to retrieve him back, so that leads to the most boring journey.
I can’t believe I actually found a fairy book worse than wicked lovely. So, according to my statistics, it’s now more possible to find a lame story these days than a decent one.
I have to make this clear.
There’s a difference between wanting to write a book and wanting to write a good story.
I suggest some authors should really figure out the difference.