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To me, this is NOT a good book for genderqueer representation… or ANY representation for that matter, because despite this book being filled with queer characters, many of them are so excruciatingly ignorant and problematic. Seriously, I expected so much more from a novel that’s supposedly LGBTQ+-friendly, but this book was a freaking train wreck, which makes me question whether the author really knows anything about being genderqueer or actually wants to create positive representations of queer people. Throughout the novel, the characters constantly put others down, frequently marginalize non-binary characters and act superior over them… and in the case of one character, he is severely transphobic and frequently uses transphobic slurs, among other incredibly offensive, degrading language. This book should be titled, “How NOT to write a queer character.”
Now, I started off actually liking this book. I thought it was sweet how Toni and Gretchen met across the dance floor at their prom. Then when they find out they’ll be going to different colleges, I was a bit “Meh.” Maybe I’m just not into that trope. I mean, it’s REALLY not the end of the world, guys. And do you really expect to go everywhere together in life, even if that means sacrificing your own ambitions and independence just so you can still see each other every day? But still, It was whatever. Not that bad. Then they go to college, and that’s where everything goes downhill, and where Gretchen meets Carroll, who I deem the most awful character I have ever had the misfortune to know. Remember the character who says a ton of transphobic things? This is him. And seriously, he is so awful. Despite being gay himself, he just reminds me of the typical sexist, cis-gendered dude-bro that we all strive to avoid at all costs. So you’d think that with his own sexuality he’d know better and come with his own complexity as a character. Nope! This is not the case. At all.
The worst part is that Gretchen, for whatever reason, actually LIKES HIM, despite the fact that he pretty much insulted her partner right off the bat:
“But I can already tell Carroll’s going to be a good friend.”
Um, not really??? He’s kind of a huge douche. And I’m sorry, did he not just say, “What, is your girlfriend one of those hard-core bra-burning lesbo feminazis? Cause you don’t seem like that type at all.” Not to mention he just made fun of Toni for not using she/her pronouns and repeatedly said he knew how to spot a “lesbo.”
All together now: UGHHHHH.
Oh, but this isn’t the end of Carroll saying incredibly offensive things. Not even close. Because pretty much everything out of his mouth for the rest of the novel is so bafflingly ignorant, and he especially continues to be hostile and extremely transphobic in regard to Toni:
- “Your girlfriend’s a man?”
“So, what, your girlfriend’s an it?”
(OH MY GOD, why does Gretchen like this guy again?!)
“your shemale ex”
"So...Are you into that? Are you one of those girls who's into the whole guys-wearing-panties thing, and vice versa? Like, does it turn you on?"
“SHE AND HER BAT- CRAZY TRANNY GIRLFRIEND ARE ON A BREAK!”
Part of me suspects that the reason he hates Toni so much (besides the fact that he’s just an ass) is that he latches onto Gretchen pretty quickly when they meet, since he doesn’t have anyone else (GEE, I WONDER WHY). So he hates any moment when he realizes that Gretchen isn’t just his, and he quickly becomes entitled, which also makes Carroll an extremely immature character. Not to mention the fact that he is also a sexist douche toward Gretchen too, sexualizes her bisexual identity (ew), and accuses her of being trans:
“You’re such a little fifties wife already. Hey, if she becomes a guy it’ll be legal even in, like, Russia, right?”
“I knew you had an inner tramp.” (In response to Gretchen saying she had 8 girlfriends in 5 years).
(Because Gretchen said she’s not a girly girl) “Does that mean you’re kind of trans, too, like Toni?”
Toward the end of the book, Carroll and Gretchen go out and get drunk, and Carroll makes Gretchen dance with this other girl to get her mind off Toni. Well, one thing leads to another, and out of frustration at Toni, Gretchen sleeps with Carroll. But then Carroll gets mad at her over this and makes it seem like it’s all her fault when HE’S the one who told Gretchen to dance with a random girl to forget about Toni, and HE’S the one who said “If you won’t dance with her, I will!” And then he blames HER for what happened, which leads him to say this:
“What I remember is you dancing like a maniac in that club, hitting on everything that moved, like some bi nympho or something.”
So rather than own up to his actions and partial responsibility for what happened, Carroll instead paints Gretchen as the evil bisexual who threw her sexuality everywhere even though that’s not at all what happened. Great example of biphobia, along with every other way that Carroll is the most problematic character ever. And the worst part is that he makes Gretchen feel like she’s the one who should feel bad and who should feel responsible for what happened, and she goes on believing it for the rest of the novel. She even misses him and wishes things could go back to normal between them. Like… girl, don’t miss him! Do not even feel remotely bad about what happened, and don’t let him make you feel like you’re the bad person. Just be glad you’re rid of that piece of garbage excuse for a human!
Besides Carroll being literally the worst character ever, the other character I couldn’t stand in this story is Toni. Now, it’s fine to be confused about your identity and to explore different options. But she takes it to another level by acting like she knows so much more about gender than everyone else when it doesn’t seem like she herself has a freaking clue. I felt like a lot of the time she was trying to force habits just so she could be ~alternative and above gender~, not necessarily because that's how she naturally felt. Like, the amount of times throughout the novel that she spent focusing on and agonizing over pronouns is unbearable. And it didn't seem like that was the most important thing in the grand scheme of things, but she convinced herself that it was and kept going back and forth over it, trying "they" and then trying "ze" and "hir," and half the time she'd end up slipping and using "she" pronouns for other people anyway. Yet at the same time, she would lecture everyone else on the gender binary and pronouns, as if she was the expert on it all... when she wasn't perfect either! News flash: it's called ASKING what peoples' pronouns are. And, you don't have to use gender-neutral pronouns for everyone, especially if they already identify as "he/him" or "she/her"!
Side note: I also thought this book did a terrible job at properly going into what being genderqueer means and representing it. Many times, characters talk about what it means to be genderqueer, often treating it as being indecisive and not making up one's mind yet, like what Carroll says here:
“The site said a lot of genderqueer people are just kids who haven’t made up their minds yet whether they want to be a boy or a girl.”
NOPE, that is literally not what it means at all. Genderqueer is not a phase. It's not an in-between point until you figure out whether you're a boy or a girl. Genderqueer, in simplest terms, means that one's gender does not fit in with socially constructed norms of gender. In terms of "boy or girl," it can mean being both or neither. It can mean existing anywhere on the spectrum in between masculine and feminine. That being said, it would probably be a great fit for Toni, since it doesn't assume any specific label (other than genderqueer), it doesn't enforce anything, and it allows for variation and ambiguity (what with Toni not wanting to 100% identify as either a girl or boy)
The other irritating trait about Toni is that she’s so focused on distancing herself from the gender binary and being mad at others for not understanding, yet she goes out of her way to judge and criticize others who are within the binary, which?? Just like you wouldn’t want to be judged for being outside the binary, why would you judge others who do identify within the binary? You can’t help how you identify, and even if you don’t like the binary, some people feel comfortable in it. Let them! That is honestly so counter-productive to look down on someone because they fit the feminine role, and it just reeks of being snooty and feeling superior over others, not to mention it’s misogynistic. If you want to know what I’m talking about, Toni basically hates her two roommates for being cisgender. Sure, they’re not perfect, but attacking them because they’re feminine does not make you the better person:
“Why do they always have to dress like that?… It’s like Joanna and Felicia are trying to be as girly as humanly possible. They might as well be wearing signs that say "We’re Cisgender, and Don’t You Forget It.”
Oh my god, WHY DO YOU CARE?? Why do you go out of your way to judge them and deem yourself superior?! You’re literally so obnoxious
Oh, but wait! In case that wasn’t bad, then Toni shames her roommates and claims they can’t be feminist if they wear bikinis:
“Joanna and Felicia are the ultimate gender conformists. Neither of them has the right to talk about feminism until they stop posting pictures of themselves in bikinis.”
You. Did not. Just say that. Oh, my god. Do you… do you actually know what feminism is? Probably no more than you know what being transgender is! I know you’re having a hissy fit with this whole thing about how no one understands you and how you think your girlfriend is so much prettier than you and is probably better off without you in New York, wah wah wah… but shaming other women for wearing bikinis and feeling good about themselves is not the answer!
For these reasons, I just couldn’t stop seeing Toni as a brooding, ugly, immature bully throughout this whole novel. And a lot of times, I honestly just found her to be pretty pathetic. The way she latches onto Derek and wants so badly to impress him by telling him she’s transgender. How she claims that she hasn’t let her friends at school influence her, yet literally just based her decision to break up with Gretchen around what she thought Derek would do, and even continued to hang onto his every word and basically said, ‘Wait, that’s NOT what you would do?’ (Oh my god, Toni, make your own damn decisions!) And then when Derek called Nance his best friend, Toni just couldn’t handle it:
“Wait. Best friend? Nance is Derek’s best friend? What does that make me?”
Dear lord, are we in elementary school now?! -__-
I’m sure there are things I’ve left out in this review, but basically this novel had so many irritating characters in it who were either severely ignorant, transphobic, misogynistic, biphobic, or marginalizing toward non-binary people, despite the fact that this novel should be queer-friendly, which I don't think it is. It doesn't give proper representation to those who are truly genderqueer, and there are just so many other problematic things about this book that I couldn't stand. I don't even feel like putting this under my "queer lit" shelf because I don't feel that it's a good queer book. And I just looked up the author, who is apparently cisgender and who writes queer books outside her own experience. So, this is a very good example of how sometimes, cis-people just shouldn't write queer books.