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The writing bothers me sometimes. I think I like the story but the writing is over the top in some sections and straightforward in others. The lack of a consistent voice is off-putting. Just to be on the safe side, direct quotes.
"When Sophie was a Jedi knight was the only time she didn’t feel exhausted."
Why isn't it, "The only time Sophie didn't feel exhausted was when she was a Jedi Knight."
And what's with the POV change in the middle of this paragraph?
"There was no sense whinging about it. It was on him, and he wasn’t going to shirk it. If you were honest, you called these heartbreaks in to you the moment you blew that whistle."
Spoiler
And I just don't understand the way this sentence was formatted."When Sophie was a Jedi knight was the only time she didn’t feel exhausted."
Why isn't it, "The only time Sophie didn't feel exhausted was when she was a Jedi Knight."
And what's with the POV change in the middle of this paragraph?
"There was no sense whinging about it. It was on him, and he wasn’t going to shirk it. If you were honest, you called these heartbreaks in to you the moment you blew that whistle."