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A review by bookishchristiana
My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell
challenging
dark
emotional
sad
slow-paced
- Plot- or character-driven? Character
- Strong character development? Yes
- Loveable characters? No
- Diverse cast of characters? No
- Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes
5.0
'“I can’t lose the thing I’ve held onto for so long, you know?” My face twists up from the pain of pushing it out. “I just really need it to be a love story, you know? I really, really need it to be that.” “I know,” she says. “Because if it isn’t a love story, then what is it”? I look to her glassy eyes, her face of wide open empathy. “It’s my life,” I say. “This has been my whole life.”' - Kate Elizabeth Russell, My Dark Vanessa.
This is a very sensitive book so I don't feel like I can give it my usual length or style of review. Essentially, this book is a modern kind-of Lolita except from the victim's perspective. It is very heavy and hard to get through; despite this I absolutely give it 5 stars. I finished this book I think about two weeks ago now but I had to sit with it a bit before writing a review. Although I am not a writer, I can see that writing this kind of book with sensitivity must be incredibly hard. There are so many parts of this book that had my skin crawling or full of anger. It's hard to put into words how exactly this book made me feel inside. It definitely elicited the feelings that Russell intended. DO NOT read this book if you cannot read about abuse, grooming, or non-consent. My Dark Vanessa seems to capture the feelings and experiences of a victim of grooming perfectly. Despite Vanessa's actions being endlessly frustrating and stress-inducing, I understood that this is how many people who have been groomed react (although I cannot speak for them as this is not my story to weigh in on). It is a very tough read and at times I hated it. Having to read the abuse was awful and, in some ways, I think parts could have been referred to rather than written so explicitly. I think there is a risk of certain explicit scenes that are written to depict the horrible actions of the groomer run the risk of being read by real-life groomers too. It makes me severely uncomfortable to think that someone may take the wrong things away from this book. At the same time though, perhaps such scenes needed to be written so as to properly demonstrate Vanessa's state as a character. I'm in two minds. Notwithstanding this, I still want to give this book 5 stars as I think it is something that will stick with me for the rest of my life. The writing and portrayal of a victim of grooming is impeccable. It is truly a much better portrayal of grooming (centring the victim's story) than Lolita ever could be. Do not read Lolita, read this (although, again, read the trigger warnings). It may have been hard, but I am thoroughly glad I read it. - C x
This is a very sensitive book so I don't feel like I can give it my usual length or style of review. Essentially, this book is a modern kind-of Lolita except from the victim's perspective. It is very heavy and hard to get through; despite this I absolutely give it 5 stars. I finished this book I think about two weeks ago now but I had to sit with it a bit before writing a review. Although I am not a writer, I can see that writing this kind of book with sensitivity must be incredibly hard. There are so many parts of this book that had my skin crawling or full of anger. It's hard to put into words how exactly this book made me feel inside. It definitely elicited the feelings that Russell intended. DO NOT read this book if you cannot read about abuse, grooming, or non-consent. My Dark Vanessa seems to capture the feelings and experiences of a victim of grooming perfectly. Despite Vanessa's actions being endlessly frustrating and stress-inducing, I understood that this is how many people who have been groomed react (although I cannot speak for them as this is not my story to weigh in on). It is a very tough read and at times I hated it. Having to read the abuse was awful and, in some ways, I think parts could have been referred to rather than written so explicitly. I think there is a risk of certain explicit scenes that are written to depict the horrible actions of the groomer run the risk of being read by real-life groomers too. It makes me severely uncomfortable to think that someone may take the wrong things away from this book. At the same time though, perhaps such scenes needed to be written so as to properly demonstrate Vanessa's state as a character. I'm in two minds. Notwithstanding this, I still want to give this book 5 stars as I think it is something that will stick with me for the rest of my life. The writing and portrayal of a victim of grooming is impeccable. It is truly a much better portrayal of grooming (centring the victim's story) than Lolita ever could be. Do not read Lolita, read this (although, again, read the trigger warnings). It may have been hard, but I am thoroughly glad I read it. - C x
Content Warnings
Graphic: Child abuse, Pedophilia, Emotional abuse, Rape, Sexism, Physical abuse, Adult/minor relationship, and Sexual violence