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A review by helpfulsnowman
Hulk: The End by George Pérez, Peter David, Dale Keown
3.0
I did not realize this was two things slapped together: Hulk: Future Imperfect, and then a sort of ending to that story.
So I skipped the Future Imperfect part because I've read that. I enjoyed it. It was fun. But I think I got it. "Rick Jones will be happier...in ORBIT!"
As for the new bits, I'm just a little over post-apocalypse stuff. I get the appeal, but by now I think I've sampled most of the flavors of post-apocalypse on those little pink spoons, and like the 31 flavors of ice cream, after 3 or 4, they all have about the same effect. Once I've had like chocolate, vanilla, a few others, I don't need praline or whatever. Yes, I know some fuckface reading this is like, "Praline is the best!" Well, first of all, fuckface, no, it's not. There's no measure, subjective or objective, that leads to praline being anyone's favorite other than being contradictory on a book review for a Hulk book. Somehow that situation has arisen. But second, the point here is that while I might eat like 32 different kinds of ice cream, I don't need 32 only slightly different flavors of post-apocalypse. I'll take infinite takes on ice cream, but I don't need slight variations on the half-dozen flavors of post-apocalyptic novels:
Flavor 1: The real bad guys is us!
Flavor 2: Badass roaming the wasteland!
Flavor 3: LADY badass roaming the wasteland!
Flavor 4: Have you ever thought that corporations are the real bad guys and our new lifestyle is more pure?!
Flavor 5: What if we all fight over the same now-scarce resource?
Flavor 6: Played for comedy.
Then we get another bunch of flavors by combining these. I'm a badass roaming the wasteland, discovering that the real bad guys is us.
I'm a badass roaming the wasteland, helping the fight over the same scarce resource.
I'm a fast-talking, sassy lady roaming the wasteland.
You know what I don't think I've seen yet? One that I came up with, a post-apocalyptic world where everything is run by the same source of power: Human Semen. Men are taken to "milking farms" and enslaved to create the substance that powers the world. There's not much of a story here, but it's basically all based on a scene where a guy has to quickly jerk off into a car's gas tank to make an escape. I guess this is Flavor 5, fighting over a scarce resource. Damn it.
So I skipped the Future Imperfect part because I've read that. I enjoyed it. It was fun. But I think I got it. "Rick Jones will be happier...in ORBIT!"
As for the new bits, I'm just a little over post-apocalypse stuff. I get the appeal, but by now I think I've sampled most of the flavors of post-apocalypse on those little pink spoons, and like the 31 flavors of ice cream, after 3 or 4, they all have about the same effect. Once I've had like chocolate, vanilla, a few others, I don't need praline or whatever. Yes, I know some fuckface reading this is like, "Praline is the best!" Well, first of all, fuckface, no, it's not. There's no measure, subjective or objective, that leads to praline being anyone's favorite other than being contradictory on a book review for a Hulk book. Somehow that situation has arisen. But second, the point here is that while I might eat like 32 different kinds of ice cream, I don't need 32 only slightly different flavors of post-apocalypse. I'll take infinite takes on ice cream, but I don't need slight variations on the half-dozen flavors of post-apocalyptic novels:
Flavor 1: The real bad guys is us!
Flavor 2: Badass roaming the wasteland!
Flavor 3: LADY badass roaming the wasteland!
Flavor 4: Have you ever thought that corporations are the real bad guys and our new lifestyle is more pure?!
Flavor 5: What if we all fight over the same now-scarce resource?
Flavor 6: Played for comedy.
Then we get another bunch of flavors by combining these. I'm a badass roaming the wasteland, discovering that the real bad guys is us.
I'm a badass roaming the wasteland, helping the fight over the same scarce resource.
I'm a fast-talking, sassy lady roaming the wasteland.
You know what I don't think I've seen yet? One that I came up with, a post-apocalyptic world where everything is run by the same source of power: Human Semen. Men are taken to "milking farms" and enslaved to create the substance that powers the world. There's not much of a story here, but it's basically all based on a scene where a guy has to quickly jerk off into a car's gas tank to make an escape. I guess this is Flavor 5, fighting over a scarce resource. Damn it.