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ninarg 's review for:
More Weird Things Customers Say in Bookshops
by Jen Campbell
funny
Some of the things were definitely weird (like the customer who eats books), but some were cute (mainly the things children say), some sinister (like the people who want to hunt other people or dispose of dead bodies), and some makes you worried about some people's lack of knowledge (why haven't we had any news from the Shire lately?).
Here are some of my favourites:
CUSTOMER: Hi, I'm looking for a bookshop that sells antique door handles.
CUSTOMER: I just baked a cake and I've burnt it all the way through. Look. (She lifts a very burnt, blackened cake out of her bag.) Do you have a book with instructions on how to fix it?
MOTHER (showing a picture book to her daughter): Awwww, look at the cute kitty. And the little horsey. And the groundhog, too! Your daddy shoots those when they come into the garden, doesn't he?
CUSTOMER: I wonder if you can help me. Where can I buy the pasta on the front of Nigella's book?
BOOKSELLER: Would you like a bag?
FRENCH CUSTOMER: No no no no.
(Pause)
FRENCH CUSTOMER: Can I have a little baguette?
FRENCH CUSTOMER: I'm looking for a book by Marten Toonder.
BOOKSELLER: Is he a Dutch author?
FRENCH CUSTOMER: No, no - he is Hollandaise.
CUSTOMER: (pushes in front of a long queue to the service counter, where a bookseller is clearly helping another customer, and asks): Where is your books on etiquette?
Here are some of my favourites:
CUSTOMER: Hi, I'm looking for a bookshop that sells antique door handles.
CUSTOMER: I just baked a cake and I've burnt it all the way through. Look. (She lifts a very burnt, blackened cake out of her bag.) Do you have a book with instructions on how to fix it?
MOTHER (showing a picture book to her daughter): Awwww, look at the cute kitty. And the little horsey. And the groundhog, too! Your daddy shoots those when they come into the garden, doesn't he?
CUSTOMER: I wonder if you can help me. Where can I buy the pasta on the front of Nigella's book?
BOOKSELLER: Would you like a bag?
FRENCH CUSTOMER: No no no no.
(Pause)
FRENCH CUSTOMER: Can I have a little baguette?
FRENCH CUSTOMER: I'm looking for a book by Marten Toonder.
BOOKSELLER: Is he a Dutch author?
FRENCH CUSTOMER: No, no - he is Hollandaise.
CUSTOMER: (pushes in front of a long queue to the service counter, where a bookseller is clearly helping another customer, and asks): Where is your books on etiquette?