A review by gabberjaws
Our Wives Under the Sea by Julia Armfield

dark emotional mysterious reflective sad medium-paced

• Plot- or character-driven? Character
• Strong character development? It's complicated
• Loveable characters? Yes
• Diverse cast of characters? Yes
• Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

5.0

 CW: Grief, Confinement, Death of a parent, Death of a partner, Terminal Illness-esque events , Memory loss

“It’s hard when you look up and realise that everyone’s moved off and left you in that place by yourself. Like they’ve all gone on and you’re there still, holding on to this person you’re supposed to let go of.”

There are some books that come your way at the right time and Our Wives Under the Sea was very much one of those books for me. This review is about to get exceedingly personal, so buckle in folks. 

You see, when I first read this book I was in the middle of grieving my grandmother. She’d died 8 months before I’d picked this up, and the year preceding her death had been extremely difficult for me and my family. Nana was diagnosed with dementia in July 2021 and her memory and other cognitive functions began deteriorating rapidly. And then if that wasn’t bad enough, that same October, she started having difficulty breathing and was rushed to hospital, where she had to stay an entire month. When she was finally released from hospital, it was with a cancer diagnosis. Terminal.

My relationship with my grandmother had always been turbulent, and I could go on about the complexities of our relationship until the cows come home, but the only thing that matters to us today is the bottom line; I loved her. This was someone I’d known and lived with my entire life, and I had to sit and watch helplessly while she slowly forgot who I was, what she was doing, and where she was. 

When I picked up Our Wives Under the Sea, I was several months into mourning, and I didn’t expect to have the grief stirred up quite the way it was - but if you have read this book, then you see how the events of in this story paralleled everything I went through in the previous year. Reading this was a gut punch.

Our Wives Under the Sea follows Miri and Leah, a couple in the middle of an event that, as is made clear right from the beginning, will not have a happy ending. Leah’s returned from an voyage under the sea that has left her changed and changing still, and we follow Miri as she both grieves the loss of the Leah she used to know and tries to grapple with what she fears may come.

At its core, Our Wives Under the Sea is a story about grief, loss, and the fear of loss. It’s about the inevitable end of all things, all relationships - even the ones that last a lifetime. It’s an odd, but powerful tale, and because of my state of grieving when I read this, it had me sobbing uncontrollably for pages on end. 

Armfield writes with a masterful command of language. Her writing is lyrical and poetic, but without being clunky or awkward. It flowed like water, and it was incredibly easy to get lost in her words and the story she was weaving. 

This book definitely won’t be for everyone - like I said, it is a little odd. But if you like poetic, profound, slightly weird stories, then please do give this a chance. I still can’t fully put into words how cathartic and meloncholic it was to read this book (it certainly didn’t help that the two MCs reminded me of my partner and I), but Our Wives Under the Sea was a powerful little book, and I will carry this story with me for a long time.