A review by spacestationtrustfund
The Secret History by Prokopios

2.0

I loathe Procopius, not only because of how he himself loathed women, but I won't deny that's a major contributor. He is also, for someone writing about the craziest gossip this side of the Columnae Herculis, unbelievably boring. But there are some interesting tidbits herein, such as the following, which my brain helpfully turned into a very detailed image that will now haunt my nightmares:

Spoiler

"...and even though she made use of all three of her orifices, she often found fault with nature, complaining that nature had not made the holes of her nipples larger so that she could devise another variety of intercourse there."