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A review by couldbestephen
Don't Break the Rules by James W. Berg
1.0
AVOID THIS AUTHOR AND THIS BOOK AT ALL COSTS.
This book is great for horror fans who hate horror and love heavy exposition. Perfect for readers who love a book with a bewildering amount of indistinguishable characters and hate good writing. Berg continues to spend his own money indie publishing objectively horrible novels when he could spend that money on creative writing classes. Or hiring a competent editor (who isn't already his friend/mom/husband). Or more Funko Pops. I just need him to stop publishing his crappy books.
Justin, Jayson, and Jack join Justine, Mark, Trish, Tristan, Pat, Paul, Pedro, Bob, Bethann, Cory, Kat, Jolene, Oscar, Andre/Amanda and Ray on a road trip from Colorado to New York (good luck keeping track of anyone, they're all awful people with the same issues who do not have distinct personalities). When they all decide to stay in a small hotel in Nebraska, they find themselves in the middle of a battle for their souls. They need to survive the night. And not break rules. Idk guys, it's bad, don't read this.
There is nothing positive to say when discussing this book. This is such an obvious example of a self-insert novel, I got concerned with the amount of personal information Berg was divulging through his main characters. The writing is criminal, the characters are bland, the horror elements are nonexistent, and the plot is a boring cliche. The only thing I was impressed with was how after writing 6 books, Berg has managed to never improve his writing. In fact, I think this is the worst book he's published so far.
We have to start with how offensive this book is. Berg is bi-phobic, which we can see through his treatment of his "bi" characters (they are either gay or straight, they just haven't made up their minds yet). His transphobia shines when he deadnames his trans character and kills them off first, within chapters of introducing them. He didn't even try to hide his misogyny and lesbophobia. I don't think he's ever met another gay person irl, much less a drag queen because why were all the queer characters caricatures of gay people? And the racism... having the bad guys be a family of black people who use voodoo to capture souls?? BERG WHAT THE FUCK.
Berg has one of the clunkiest writing voices I have ever read. If this book is an example of how this man thinks, his brain is a wasteland. He looooves an exposition dump. Why "show" us anything through character dialogue and action when you can just... "tell" us. In explicit detail. Meet a character, learn their entire backstory immediately! When he does use dialogue, it "tells" us nothing (because the exposition already did that) and is always accompanied by the worst dialogue tags he could use. The amount of times characters "scream" when he meant "shouted" is astounding. It's clear Berg does not understand the "weight" of words, especially in tags. How this man still writes like an untalented fanfiction preteen author as an older man is a question for the ages.
The "survive the night" trope is a staple in the horror genre; the characters need to beat the odds and survive till morning, and generally in the process, learn something about themselves. Berg butchers the trope through horrific plotting and underdeveloped characters who never, ever, develop.
Every single character sucks. Why have 18 characters when none of them are written well. All of them are couples, all of them cheat on each other, no one is good, all of them die, don't bother keeping track of anyone. Every character is incredibly stupid. Straight up, a couple brings a dog into the hotel, illegally. The dog goes missing. The restaurant in town suddenly has a new soup CALLED "HOT DOG DOODLE SOUP" AND THE FUCKING COUPLE EATS IT. This book only works because everyone is a moron!
This book makes me angry. I desperately need someone in Berg's life to sit him down and tell him he isn't a good writer, that he needs to take some writing classes, that he needs to consume the media he writes about!! Does this man know anything about the horror genre?? He clearly doesn't know how to write! Please stop trying! I want a refund!
This book is great for horror fans who hate horror and love heavy exposition. Perfect for readers who love a book with a bewildering amount of indistinguishable characters and hate good writing. Berg continues to spend his own money indie publishing objectively horrible novels when he could spend that money on creative writing classes. Or hiring a competent editor (who isn't already his friend/mom/husband). Or more Funko Pops. I just need him to stop publishing his crappy books.
Justin, Jayson, and Jack join Justine, Mark, Trish, Tristan, Pat, Paul, Pedro, Bob, Bethann, Cory, Kat, Jolene, Oscar, Andre/Amanda and Ray on a road trip from Colorado to New York (good luck keeping track of anyone, they're all awful people with the same issues who do not have distinct personalities). When they all decide to stay in a small hotel in Nebraska, they find themselves in the middle of a battle for their souls. They need to survive the night. And not break rules. Idk guys, it's bad, don't read this.
There is nothing positive to say when discussing this book. This is such an obvious example of a self-insert novel, I got concerned with the amount of personal information Berg was divulging through his main characters. The writing is criminal, the characters are bland, the horror elements are nonexistent, and the plot is a boring cliche. The only thing I was impressed with was how after writing 6 books, Berg has managed to never improve his writing. In fact, I think this is the worst book he's published so far.
We have to start with how offensive this book is. Berg is bi-phobic, which we can see through his treatment of his "bi" characters (they are either gay or straight, they just haven't made up their minds yet). His transphobia shines when he deadnames his trans character and kills them off first, within chapters of introducing them. He didn't even try to hide his misogyny and lesbophobia. I don't think he's ever met another gay person irl, much less a drag queen because why were all the queer characters caricatures of gay people? And the racism... having the bad guys be a family of black people who use voodoo to capture souls?? BERG WHAT THE FUCK.
Berg has one of the clunkiest writing voices I have ever read. If this book is an example of how this man thinks, his brain is a wasteland. He looooves an exposition dump. Why "show" us anything through character dialogue and action when you can just... "tell" us. In explicit detail. Meet a character, learn their entire backstory immediately! When he does use dialogue, it "tells" us nothing (because the exposition already did that) and is always accompanied by the worst dialogue tags he could use. The amount of times characters "scream" when he meant "shouted" is astounding. It's clear Berg does not understand the "weight" of words, especially in tags. How this man still writes like an untalented fanfiction preteen author as an older man is a question for the ages.
The "survive the night" trope is a staple in the horror genre; the characters need to beat the odds and survive till morning, and generally in the process, learn something about themselves. Berg butchers the trope through horrific plotting and underdeveloped characters who never, ever, develop.
Every single character sucks. Why have 18 characters when none of them are written well. All of them are couples, all of them cheat on each other, no one is good, all of them die, don't bother keeping track of anyone. Every character is incredibly stupid. Straight up, a couple brings a dog into the hotel, illegally. The dog goes missing. The restaurant in town suddenly has a new soup CALLED "HOT DOG DOODLE SOUP" AND THE FUCKING COUPLE EATS IT. This book only works because everyone is a moron!
This book makes me angry. I desperately need someone in Berg's life to sit him down and tell him he isn't a good writer, that he needs to take some writing classes, that he needs to consume the media he writes about!! Does this man know anything about the horror genre?? He clearly doesn't know how to write! Please stop trying! I want a refund!