A review by rubellaface
What My Bones Know: A Memoir of Healing from Complex Trauma by Stephanie Foo

challenging emotional hopeful informative inspiring reflective sad tense medium-paced

5.0

Quick caveat: I do not have C-PTSD. I am a second-generation Filipino American who grew up to have high-functioning anxiety & depression due to tiger parenting, growing up Asian American, and being forced to become an alpha daughter. 

Reading this book triggered me and had me questioning my reality and how I’ve often laughed-off or disassociated my personal trauma in order to succeed in life (and therefore be perceived as being okay). Her coping mechanisms were/are my coping mechanisms, and funnily enough, I didn’t even realize they were coping mechanisms. So as Stephanie went down the rabbit hole of finding out what her bones know and how to fix it, I was right beside her– transfixed and checking my own bones for fissures and trauma from similar situations in my family life. 

Cause Stephanie Foo does not pull her punches when recounting her childhood. Every abusive situation is described in a way that is almost clinical and ripe for analyzing. Her book is basically an emotional autopsy of her trauma, and the way she uses her journalism background to thoroughly vet every single c-ptsd-related therapy is both thrilling and heartbreaking. As a reader, you want Stephanie to find a therapy that works for her and that can “cure” her, and I just wanted to hug her each time a practice or therapist failed her. 

Needless to say, I was emotionally invested in Stephanie’s book. I cried towards the end as she found stable ground and the tools to fight for her peace of mind. And I cried again at the similarities in how we approached our weddings and wedding guests. Her healing journey echoed and reaffirmed my own, and I will recommend this book to all my AAPI friends who I know have gone through sh*t and are trying their best.
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