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A review by categal
Sandrine's Case by Thomas H. Cook
1.0
This read to me like a first draft, so here is my feedback for the second draft:
1. Eliminate all adverbs. There is no way every character speaks "softly" and says things "darkly". I don't even know what that means, just whack 'em.
2. Use the words "porcelain cup" NO MORE than three times. Remove the other 8,321 instances.
3. Decide what Sandrine's motivation is, and make that clear to the reader. The reader is not amused.
1. Eliminate all adverbs. There is no way every character speaks "softly" and says things "darkly". I don't even know what that means, just whack 'em.
2. Use the words "porcelain cup" NO MORE than three times. Remove the other 8,321 instances.
3. Decide what Sandrine's motivation is, and make that clear to the reader. The reader is not amused.