4.0

You know that pang of nostalgia for something you were lucky to experience, but you know will never return? That state of melancholic longing that leaves you both held aloft, and crushed, at the same time? That weird moment at a Phoebe Bridgers show when you realize thousands of people have shown up ready and psyched to be sad together?

Susan Cain, a self-professed lover of sad music, set out to understand what that feeling is, and why it might be the exact point where we are the most aware of what it is to be alive. In her clean, elegant prose, she finds the roots of this “bittersweetness” in our own impermanence; our need for connection; and the generational pain we carry with us.

If you’ve ever felt balanced between the ecstasy of life and the torture of living it—perhaps while screaming “I Know the End” with thousands of strangers in skeleton shirts—“Bittersweet” might help explain why.