A review by kimball_hansen
This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships by Matthew Fray

3.0

Basically, this books talks about that men need to be ok with losing their man card and that isn't always a bad thing. The stigma need to change. It's not related to being a beta male. Those guys are chumps. And another thing: a very good person can be a bad husband.

He makes the bold claim that male behavior is mostly responsible for the divorce crisis and thus men are the key to solving it. Ehhh to quote Billy Madison, "and it takes two to tango...or something like that." Remember I've actually been divorced. And you're a coward if you haven't gone through one.

I get what this guy is trying to convey that he (and many men) should step up to be more accountable and ownership, but he shouldn't place all the blame on himself. His ex-wife was somewhat responsible of the divorce. I'd say it was 80/20. Not 100/0 like he's taking the martyrs role and going to die on his hill alone for the sake of responsibility and to get likes on his posts.

Why'd he go and quote that crappy, fraud Glennan Doyle. Many people say, "we can do hard things." I say it all the time. She shouldn't get credit. She's a fraud. And a scissors. Just like the other fraud Hag Lizabeth Gilbert. If the fraud Brene Brown joins their trio then the world will end.

A five step strategy for marriage success:.
1) know yourself
2) make a wise and disciplined partner selection
3) if you want it to be for life, marry them
4) love them for who they are, not for what they do for you
5) repeat step 4 everyday forever


Notes


In America there are about 6000 marriages a day and 3000 divorces a day.

One of the sexiest things a spouse can say to their spouse is, "I got this" and then do that thing. Even better if you don't have to be asked. Because your spouse doesn't want to be your parent. They want to be your adult partner.

This author reminds me so much of [a:Mark Manson|8529755|Mark Manson|https://images.gr-assets.com/authors/1410365708p2/8529755.jpg]. Which is ironic because it's the author's favorite author. So how much of him is he ripping off? That's the real question.

We routinely misremember past events because our brain unconsciously apply present day emotions to events that happened years ago.

Six-second hugs release the three feel good chemicals: oxytocin, serotonin, and dopamine.

In marriage either your spouse is number 1 or you're doing it wrong.

Divorce is rising fastest for new empty nesters.

There is no shame when we have given all we can.

The biggest influence on how good our lives are, is the quality of our human relationships.

Self knowledge, when you know yourself, you can better keep yourself out of danger and toxic relationships.