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A review by mackle13
A Clockwork Heart by Liesel Schwarz
1.0
1.5
I debated about whether to go up to 2 or down to 1, but decided it had to be a 1.
First let me say that I wasn't exactly wowed by the first book in the series, but I liked it enough to give this second book a shot. (I gave it 2.5 bumped to 3).
And I must admit those covers... they call to me...
*ahem*
But, honestly, this book died for me within the first few chapters. Elle and Marsh - already a bit annoying and inconsistent in the first book - were just... ugh...
So, they're married 6 months and it's not going well. Elle wants to remain free-spirited and independent, and Marsh, 'cause he worries, suddenly gets all "you will be by my side as befitting the duties of a wife" (paraphrased) and, yes, both needed to compromise and both were a bit in the wrong - but I wanted to smack the overbearing Marsh upside his thick damn skull.
But, of course, as the story progresses you discover all this drama is manufactured bullshit to make the plot more angsty.
Well, if it was meant to make me care more - it failed. It failed hard.
So, anyway - stuff happens, and Elle has to save Marsh and discover the source of the Tickers.
I mentioned in my review of my first book that the world building was interesting, but haphazard. Moreso in this book. For one, there's the Tickers - pseudo-zombies who get their hearts replaced with clockwork.
Wait, what? How does this work? I mean, obviously there's magi-tech involved - but come the fuck on. I'm not exactly a surgeon - but I'm pretty sure swapping out some bits and cauterizing some blood vessels does not surgery make.
I guess there's always some level of handwavium going on in these books - but this was just too much for me. Maybe if other elements of the book were more compelling I could've overlooked it - but, no.
Speaking of too much,
And then there's the Lady in White. Usually a term referred to a ghost, in this she's an elemental witch. But she's also kind of inhuman - so a sort of fae? A ghost witch fae? I don't freaking know. Nobody knows.
And, lastly, Elle - the Oracle. Who is so bone-fucking-stupid I can't even breathe properly. I mean, she
And then she finally figures it out and wishes she hadn't banished them, but her mother had told her she could unbanish them - so... so figure it the fuck out, bitch!
I mean, honestly, it's like she didn't even try to have a lick of sense.
And the dialogue is wretched (i.e.). I don't know if it was going for humor, but it didn't seem to be... it just seemed to be bad.
The secondary characters are nigh interchangeable, it's all very telly over showy and, really, there's nothing redeemable about this story at all.
Except the cover.
My gods, the cover...
***
Summary: Halfway decent world/story massacred by terrible writing.
I debated about whether to go up to 2 or down to 1, but decided it had to be a 1.
First let me say that I wasn't exactly wowed by the first book in the series, but I liked it enough to give this second book a shot. (I gave it 2.5 bumped to 3).
And I must admit those covers... they call to me...
*ahem*
But, honestly, this book died for me within the first few chapters. Elle and Marsh - already a bit annoying and inconsistent in the first book - were just... ugh...
So, they're married 6 months and it's not going well. Elle wants to remain free-spirited and independent, and Marsh, 'cause he worries, suddenly gets all "you will be by my side as befitting the duties of a wife" (paraphrased) and, yes, both needed to compromise and both were a bit in the wrong - but I wanted to smack the overbearing Marsh upside his thick damn skull.
But, of course, as the story progresses you discover all this drama is manufactured bullshit to make the plot more angsty.
Well, if it was meant to make me care more - it failed. It failed hard.
So, anyway - stuff happens, and Elle has to save Marsh and discover the source of the Tickers.
I mentioned in my review of my first book that the world building was interesting, but haphazard. Moreso in this book. For one, there's the Tickers - pseudo-zombies who get their hearts replaced with clockwork.
Wait, what? How does this work? I mean, obviously there's magi-tech involved - but come the fuck on. I'm not exactly a surgeon - but I'm pretty sure swapping out some bits and cauterizing some blood vessels does not surgery make.
I guess there's always some level of handwavium going on in these books - but this was just too much for me. Maybe if other elements of the book were more compelling I could've overlooked it - but, no.
Speaking of too much,
Spoiler
a thousand people disappear, and it's barely a blip in the newspapers? I mean, I know the cops were involved and shit - but come on!And then there's the Lady in White. Usually a term referred to a ghost, in this she's an elemental witch. But she's also kind of inhuman - so a sort of fae? A ghost witch fae? I don't freaking know. Nobody knows.
And, lastly, Elle - the Oracle. Who is so bone-fucking-stupid I can't even breathe properly. I mean, she
Spoiler
banishes the Oracle voices, and they tell her they won't be able to come back if she banishes them - and then she's like "hey ladies, where are you? Oh, I guess you're off pouting."And then she finally figures it out and wishes she hadn't banished them, but her mother had told her she could unbanish them - so... so figure it the fuck out, bitch!
I mean, honestly, it's like she didn't even try to have a lick of sense.
And the dialogue is wretched (i.e.
Spoiler
"The time for playing games is over. You must die without delay," and "And now you will die, Oracle. And with this opening in the void, all Shadow creatures will be free." - because we must telegraph all the action with bad dialogue!The secondary characters are nigh interchangeable, it's all very telly over showy and, really, there's nothing redeemable about this story at all.
Except the cover.
My gods, the cover...
***
Summary: Halfway decent world/story massacred by terrible writing.