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A review by reywrites
Ask Yourself: The Consent Culture Workbook by Kitty Stryker
hopeful
informative
inspiring
reflective
medium-paced
5.0
I am so impressed by Ask Yourself: The Consent Culture Workbook. Kitty Stryker is a clear expert and long-time activist bringing consent culture to community spaces. Stryker and the other experts featured in this book share their experiences and perspectives on how consent can be sometimes challenging, awkward, or confusing, but also crucial for the safety, well-being, and enjoyment of interacting with others.
I loved this workbook even though I generally don't like workbooks (too much interaction, I'd rather just read). It includes enough deep and detailed content to keep me thinking about it for weeks. The questions to reflect on were meaningful and felt important to consider.
The book covers not just consent in sexual situations, but in general - including hugging, agreeing to do tasks, within kink spaces, and many other circumstances.
I appreciated that this workbook acknowledged situations that are confusing in terms of consent, which can lead to harmful outcomes but not caused by a malicious intent. Obviously, something should be improved in such a situation but this can be a time to call out or call in community members who are open to doing the work to improve themselves rather than an all-or-nothing banning a person from a group.
A few of my favorite points from the workbook:
* Citing the phrase "engaged consent" rather than "enthusiastic consent" - this resonated so much for me. You don't have to be enthusiastic about something to think it's a good idea to proceed.
* Can we really, completely consent in a patriarchal, capitalist society?
* It's important to self-reflect on how we can make our interactions and community more consensual, not just once but as an ongoing practice.
* Citing the phrase "engaged consent" rather than "enthusiastic consent" - this resonated so much for me. You don't have to be enthusiastic about something to think it's a good idea to proceed.
* Can we really, completely consent in a patriarchal, capitalist society?
* It's important to self-reflect on how we can make our interactions and community more consensual, not just once but as an ongoing practice.
I highly recommend this workbook to anyone looking to improve their relationship skills or community-building ability. We could all benefit from taking a deep dive into consent - I certainly did.