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A review by rosepoints
Conversations with Friends by Sally Rooney
5.0
i think this is the book that firmly solidified the fact that i love characters that are unapologetically complicated and contradictory because to me, that's what makes them so effortlessly human.
essentially, the narrator, frances, and her best friend/ex, bobbi, meet a married couple, melissa and nick. frances and nick start up an affair and the story unravels from there. ngl infidelity is such an ick to me so i almost DNFed the book, but the characters were so interesting that i had to keep reading. as the story progresses, i personally found that it was so much more about the characters rather than the affair. if anything, the affair is the starting point of a much longer discussion that reflects back on the main four characters.
this is the second book i've read from sally rooney, and one thing that i've noticed that i love so dearly about her writing is that she adds so much vivacity to her characters while never hiding the fact that they are fundamentally flawed people, just like any other person in real life. i want to say that i wouldn't get along with someone like frances, that she would be too callous and unhappy for me to befriend, but the truth is that i probably would be friends with someone like her. in some sense, i'm probably like her and bobbi and nick and melissa in different ways. that's what makes them so human and so real to me despite existing only on the page as written words.
furthermore, i love the questions the book brings up about power dynamics. obviously, frances and nick are in differing power dynamisc with each other (age, gender, wealth, etc). however, frances and nick are both the passive/submissive ones vs the active/dominant bobbi and melissa respectively, and there's so much to be said there in terms of how it shapes the way they view their other partner (bobbi vs nick for frances, melissa vs frances for nick) and each other. there's also some political and social debate in there as well, ranging from class divides to abortion access. basically, there's much to think about and i haven't been able to stop thinking about them after finishing the book.
despite how much i loved reading the book, i can see a lot of people not liking the book as much as i did. objectively, no one in this book makes good decisions, and the consequences of those decisions leach into each other's lives, marking their relationships with each other (the main four) as well as friends and family. but again, i love the complication of it all because it reveals little slivers of humanity in each other and how their experiences have solidified their personalities into what they are now. admittedly, no one changes very much by the end of the book. each of the four main characters end up confronting the others in some way, but they move forward from those confrontations in ways that are almost circumscribed from the whole truth. again, that might be frustrating for other readers, but for me, it's so decidedly realistic. i too have had conflicts with other people, fights that have simmered before finally bubbling up into a needlessly cruel debate about who has the worse flaw, and yet, despite knowing all of this, i have never fully absolved myself of said flaw. it's still a part of my personality, albeit more muted after consistent work in therapy, but it's still there. it's hard to pull this off well without the characters being outlandishly annoying, but rooney has a talent for making this kind of thing readable and realistic.
altogether, a gripping read that i couldn't put down.
essentially, the narrator, frances, and her best friend/ex, bobbi, meet a married couple, melissa and nick. frances and nick start up an affair and the story unravels from there. ngl infidelity is such an ick to me so i almost DNFed the book, but the characters were so interesting that i had to keep reading. as the story progresses, i personally found that it was so much more about the characters rather than the affair. if anything, the affair is the starting point of a much longer discussion that reflects back on the main four characters.
this is the second book i've read from sally rooney, and one thing that i've noticed that i love so dearly about her writing is that she adds so much vivacity to her characters while never hiding the fact that they are fundamentally flawed people, just like any other person in real life. i want to say that i wouldn't get along with someone like frances, that she would be too callous and unhappy for me to befriend, but the truth is that i probably would be friends with someone like her. in some sense, i'm probably like her and bobbi and nick and melissa in different ways. that's what makes them so human and so real to me despite existing only on the page as written words.
furthermore, i love the questions the book brings up about power dynamics. obviously, frances and nick are in differing power dynamisc with each other (age, gender, wealth, etc). however, frances and nick are both the passive/submissive ones vs the active/dominant bobbi and melissa respectively, and there's so much to be said there in terms of how it shapes the way they view their other partner (bobbi vs nick for frances, melissa vs frances for nick) and each other. there's also some political and social debate in there as well, ranging from class divides to abortion access. basically, there's much to think about and i haven't been able to stop thinking about them after finishing the book.
despite how much i loved reading the book, i can see a lot of people not liking the book as much as i did. objectively, no one in this book makes good decisions, and the consequences of those decisions leach into each other's lives, marking their relationships with each other (the main four) as well as friends and family. but again, i love the complication of it all because it reveals little slivers of humanity in each other and how their experiences have solidified their personalities into what they are now. admittedly, no one changes very much by the end of the book. each of the four main characters end up confronting the others in some way, but they move forward from those confrontations in ways that are almost circumscribed from the whole truth. again, that might be frustrating for other readers, but for me, it's so decidedly realistic. i too have had conflicts with other people, fights that have simmered before finally bubbling up into a needlessly cruel debate about who has the worse flaw, and yet, despite knowing all of this, i have never fully absolved myself of said flaw. it's still a part of my personality, albeit more muted after consistent work in therapy, but it's still there. it's hard to pull this off well without the characters being outlandishly annoying, but rooney has a talent for making this kind of thing readable and realistic.
altogether, a gripping read that i couldn't put down.