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A review by brookesmith
If He Had Been with Me by Laura Nowlin
3.0
If He Had Been With Me by Laura Nowlin
Final Thoughts (11/11/2019):
To me, this book was written to either show that we should sometimes act on our feelings even if we're scared, or that life is unpredictable and predictable at the same time. We pretty much already knew the fate of our beloved Finny, but I found myself hoping through each chapter that at the last second his fate would change. I even forgot that we knew the end right at the beginning because of how caught up I was in Autumn's thoughts. At first, I really liked Jamie and Autumn together. They were 15 and just entering high school, there was no reason for me to think that he was bad because they were only freshmen, and no one is perfect at 15. Or ever. But as they got older and into their junior and senior years, I began to understand that that they weren't right for each other. Autumn and needed someone who could handle emotion very well and openness was a normal thing to them. What Autumn and Jamie had was nothing special to me. They never really worked through any of their serious issues and when they were together only ever cared about their ideas of what the end goal was (marriage, kids, jobs, a house, etc.). Where was the discussion about Autumn's mother's depression and hospitalization? Autumn's own depression? Her dad? It was only mentioned with Jamie a few times and only at the superficial level. I think these were crucial to Autumn's story and just wish Jamie would have been better. Although I can understand that there were most likely good reasons, per the author Laura Nowlin, that Jamie was not better. Jamie never really cared about Autumn's writing, even though that's what she loved to do most. Maybe this is why Finn and Autumn seemed so much older to me than they actually were. They didn't only care about the superficial relationship type of stuff. They knew how to talk to each other and to understand what the other one needed to hear and do. I also want to mention that I know Autumn also wasn't the perfect girlfriend or future for Jamie. They both can and should have put more effort. And even though Autumn and Finn had known each other their whole lives, Jamie and Autumn still had four years to learn how to communicate with each other and grow together, but it never happened and instead they grew apart. Finn's death is still something that is troubling to me. I understand Autumn's failed attempt at suicide because of the whole "Romeo and Juliet" complex she had talked to Jamie about, but the meaning of Finn's death is still unclear to me. Was it to say that we shouldn't waste too much time thinking like Finn and Autumn did? Or was it to say that you should always try to be your most authentic self around the people you love? Or maybe both and even much more. Had Autumn never gave in to being a part of "The Clique", and just admitted her feelings to Finn, and his to her, Finn probably wouldn't have dated Sylvie and been with Autumn instead. As the title of the book suggests. Finny would have never of had to pick Sylvie up from the airport that day and might still be alive. However, there isn't a single character in this book that is blameless. I still can't forget or forgive that Finn and Autumn did the exact same thing to Sylvie that Jamie and Sasha did to Autumn. Overall, the book was pretty good. I wouldn't call it astonishing or amazing, but it did make me think. A lot actually, even though it was a fairly easy read. Maybe one day Finny and Autumn will find each other again and finally get to have the happy ending that they deserved.
Final Thoughts (11/11/2019):
To me, this book was written to either show that we should sometimes act on our feelings even if we're scared, or that life is unpredictable and predictable at the same time. We pretty much already knew the fate of our beloved Finny, but I found myself hoping through each chapter that at the last second his fate would change. I even forgot that we knew the end right at the beginning because of how caught up I was in Autumn's thoughts. At first, I really liked Jamie and Autumn together. They were 15 and just entering high school, there was no reason for me to think that he was bad because they were only freshmen, and no one is perfect at 15. Or ever. But as they got older and into their junior and senior years, I began to understand that that they weren't right for each other. Autumn and needed someone who could handle emotion very well and openness was a normal thing to them. What Autumn and Jamie had was nothing special to me. They never really worked through any of their serious issues and when they were together only ever cared about their ideas of what the end goal was (marriage, kids, jobs, a house, etc.). Where was the discussion about Autumn's mother's depression and hospitalization? Autumn's own depression? Her dad? It was only mentioned with Jamie a few times and only at the superficial level. I think these were crucial to Autumn's story and just wish Jamie would have been better. Although I can understand that there were most likely good reasons, per the author Laura Nowlin, that Jamie was not better. Jamie never really cared about Autumn's writing, even though that's what she loved to do most. Maybe this is why Finn and Autumn seemed so much older to me than they actually were. They didn't only care about the superficial relationship type of stuff. They knew how to talk to each other and to understand what the other one needed to hear and do. I also want to mention that I know Autumn also wasn't the perfect girlfriend or future for Jamie. They both can and should have put more effort. And even though Autumn and Finn had known each other their whole lives, Jamie and Autumn still had four years to learn how to communicate with each other and grow together, but it never happened and instead they grew apart. Finn's death is still something that is troubling to me. I understand Autumn's failed attempt at suicide because of the whole "Romeo and Juliet" complex she had talked to Jamie about, but the meaning of Finn's death is still unclear to me. Was it to say that we shouldn't waste too much time thinking like Finn and Autumn did? Or was it to say that you should always try to be your most authentic self around the people you love? Or maybe both and even much more. Had Autumn never gave in to being a part of "The Clique", and just admitted her feelings to Finn, and his to her, Finn probably wouldn't have dated Sylvie and been with Autumn instead. As the title of the book suggests. Finny would have never of had to pick Sylvie up from the airport that day and might still be alive. However, there isn't a single character in this book that is blameless. I still can't forget or forgive that Finn and Autumn did the exact same thing to Sylvie that Jamie and Sasha did to Autumn. Overall, the book was pretty good. I wouldn't call it astonishing or amazing, but it did make me think. A lot actually, even though it was a fairly easy read. Maybe one day Finny and Autumn will find each other again and finally get to have the happy ending that they deserved.