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A review by spacestationtrustfund
Seven Against Thebes by Helen H. Bacon, Aeschylus
2.0
This review is of the translation by Ian Johnston.
In my other review of Seven Against Thebes, the Hecht & Bacon translation, I included a line from the introduction that said the play had been "accused of being static, undramatic, ritualistic, guilty of an interpolated and debased text, archaic, and, in a word, boring." I said I agreed with that statement, and I stand by that: translation has a lot to do with the appeal of a translated text, and this version—translated by Ian Johnston—is very... tame.
The translation is fine, I guess? The real strength of this version is the contextual notes Johnston himself wrote, i.e., he includes line numbers both for the English text and for the original Ancient Greek. In the interest of making the play more "stageable" (something also done by Robert Emmet Meagher, among others), Johnston added stage directions where there were originally none. This is a common trend in modern translations or adaptations of plays, whether the plays in question be ancient Greek tragedies or Shakespeare. I personally disagree with this practice, but I do see how it could be helpful for someone intending to stage the play. It's fine. This is fine. It's whatever.
Johnston's translation is in iambic pentametre, meaning a certain degree of flexibility in adherence to the original text had to be permitted. For example, here are the first twelve lines of Johnston's translation:
In terms of accuracy to the original text, Johnston actually does pretty well. I really do not want to translate this properly, because I'm doing this neither for money nor for academic credit, but here's a word-for-word translation of the Ancient Greek:
In my other review of Seven Against Thebes, the Hecht & Bacon translation, I included a line from the introduction that said the play had been "accused of being static, undramatic, ritualistic, guilty of an interpolated and debased text, archaic, and, in a word, boring." I said I agreed with that statement, and I stand by that: translation has a lot to do with the appeal of a translated text, and this version—translated by Ian Johnston—is very... tame.
The translation is fine, I guess? The real strength of this version is the contextual notes Johnston himself wrote, i.e., he includes line numbers both for the English text and for the original Ancient Greek. In the interest of making the play more "stageable" (something also done by Robert Emmet Meagher, among others), Johnston added stage directions where there were originally none. This is a common trend in modern translations or adaptations of plays, whether the plays in question be ancient Greek tragedies or Shakespeare. I personally disagree with this practice, but I do see how it could be helpful for someone intending to stage the play. It's fine. This is fine. It's whatever.
Johnston's translation is in iambic pentametre, meaning a certain degree of flexibility in adherence to the original text had to be permitted. For example, here are the first twelve lines of Johnston's translation:
And the corresponding original:ETEOCLES [addressing the crowd]You citizens of Cadmus, any man
who seeks to guard the fortunes of a state
and guide the city’s tiller from the stern
must never do so with his eyes asleep,
and words he utters must be to the point.
For if we should succeed, the credit goes
to gods above, but if—and I do hope
this never comes to pass—we have bad luck,
the name Eteocles would then become
a single shout repeated many times [10]
by citizens in every part of Thebes,
as they cried out in discontent and grief.
You might have noticed that the translation is quite a bit longer than the original. This is, again, a side effect of the decision to put the play into iambic pentametre; the original here is only seven (and a third) lines, while Johnston's adds nearly five lines. This is a consistent theme throughout, meaning the translation—especially with the added stage directions—is much longer than the original play.ἘΤΕΟΚΛΉΣΚάδμου πολῖται, χρὴ λέγειν τὰ καίρια
ὅστις φυλάσσει πρᾶγος ἐν πρύμνῃ πόλεως
οἴακα νωμῶν, βλέφαρα μὴ κοιμῶν ὕπνῳ.
εἰ μὲν γὰρ εὖ πράξαιμεν, αἰτία θεοῦ:
εἰ δ᾽ αὖθ᾽, ὃ μὴ γένοιτο, συμφορὰ τύχοι,
Ἐτεοκλέης ἂν εἷς πολὺς κατὰ πτόλιν
ὑμνοῖθ᾽ ὑπ᾽ ἀστῶν φροιμίοις πολυρρόθοις
οἰμώγμασίν θ᾽, [...]
In terms of accuracy to the original text, Johnston actually does pretty well. I really do not want to translate this properly, because I'm doing this neither for money nor for academic credit, but here's a word-for-word translation of the Ancient Greek:
Cadmean / citizens, / proclaim / speak / the following / inNote: φροίμιον (here φροιμίοις) is the Tragic form of προοίμιον, meaning opening, prelude, preamble, preface, introduction.
that / guard / state affairs /into / stern / city
tiller / distribute, / eyelids / lest / lull / sleep.
if / indeed / for / well / pass through, /responsibility / god:
if / but / again, the following / lest / come into a new state of being, / aide-de-camp / happen to be at,
Eteokles / if / one / many / against / city
sing of / under / citizen / preface / of many voices
lamentation / both, / [...]