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pagesandpitties 's review for:
Sounds Fake But Okay: An Asexual and Aromantic Perspective on Love, Relationships, Sex, and Pretty Much Anything Else
by Kayla Kaszyca, Sarah Costello
*Thanks to NetGalley and Gallery/Jessica Kingsley Publishers for providing me with an early copy in exchange for an honest review.*
As a demisexual person I really appreciate what this book set out to do. Asexuality is one of those strange things that most people are aware of to some extent, but very few people have any understanding about what it actually IS. There are a lot of misconceptions out there and this book does a really good job at breaking down what asexuality means (and includes various perspectives from other aspec people since asexuality is a spectrum and varies from person to person). Sarah and Kayla break down some of the relationships of asexual people, from family and friends to media and society.
There were a few points that I think should have gone a little deeper, like asexuality and media. They brought up some great examples of how even non-romance/sex centered media still tend to prominently feature romance/sex storylines. but I was hoping they would touch more on some of the portrayals of aspec people in media that tend to perpetuate stereotypes about asexual people whether directly or through context. The example that kept coming to mind was Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory. He isn't specifically labeled as aspec, but his character is definitely coded as such and his incompetence/obliviousness with women is regularly used as a punchline. I also wish that the additional perspectives were longer and expanded on more aspec identities since the authors are both writing through the lens of middle class white women. They do acknowledge this multiple times, but I think it's going to hinder the book's relatability to other aspec lived experiences.
Sounds Fake But Okay is a great beginner guide to understanding the "aspec" identity, and it's definitely a great starting place for people wanting to know more. This book is very surface level though. so people who already have a general understanding of asexuality probably won't have too many takeaways, but I did appreciate that it feels so accessible. I wasn't familiar with the "Sounds Fake But Okay" podcast, but after reading this book I'm definitely excited to give that a listen!
As a demisexual person I really appreciate what this book set out to do. Asexuality is one of those strange things that most people are aware of to some extent, but very few people have any understanding about what it actually IS. There are a lot of misconceptions out there and this book does a really good job at breaking down what asexuality means (and includes various perspectives from other aspec people since asexuality is a spectrum and varies from person to person). Sarah and Kayla break down some of the relationships of asexual people, from family and friends to media and society.
There were a few points that I think should have gone a little deeper, like asexuality and media. They brought up some great examples of how even non-romance/sex centered media still tend to prominently feature romance/sex storylines. but I was hoping they would touch more on some of the portrayals of aspec people in media that tend to perpetuate stereotypes about asexual people whether directly or through context. The example that kept coming to mind was Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory. He isn't specifically labeled as aspec, but his character is definitely coded as such and his incompetence/obliviousness with women is regularly used as a punchline. I also wish that the additional perspectives were longer and expanded on more aspec identities since the authors are both writing through the lens of middle class white women. They do acknowledge this multiple times, but I think it's going to hinder the book's relatability to other aspec lived experiences.
Sounds Fake But Okay is a great beginner guide to understanding the "aspec" identity, and it's definitely a great starting place for people wanting to know more. This book is very surface level though. so people who already have a general understanding of asexuality probably won't have too many takeaways, but I did appreciate that it feels so accessible. I wasn't familiar with the "Sounds Fake But Okay" podcast, but after reading this book I'm definitely excited to give that a listen!