A review by _sofiia_
Sandwich by Catherine Newman

funny lighthearted sad medium-paced
  • Plot- or character-driven? A mix
  • Strong character development? No
  • Loveable characters? No
  • Diverse cast of characters? Yes
  • Flaws of characters a main focus? Yes

3.25

 i am trying to bring out the mischievous side of me and be a little carefree with the books sometimes, picking them just because their name is “sandwich”. alas, but my choices land on the books that end up annoying the tuna out of me and earnestly provoke me to find a portal to that particular fictional universe and dump a pile of sand on those people’s wet swimsuits and then link them with a better couple’s therapist. 

this sandwich looked nicely toasted with plenty of filling, but biting into it, i discovered canned tuna (i hate canned tuna), mayo (i love mayo, but god forbid with tuna), and, for some reason, lettuce (something rescues the situation, at least). 

this is a snapshot of a family’s vacation week in a seaside cottage (i long for summer days, apparently), told from the perspective of our main character. Rachel, or Rocky, is 50-ish, with severe menopausal symptoms (i’ve heard the phrase “hot flash” way more than needed), recurring indignation over other people’s secrecy that alternates with her own anxious secrecy, and, what at first is touching, but then becomes a rather disturbing, an almost perverted obsession over her children’s bodies and her maternal instincts. i like the frankness that the author gave to Rocky, illuminating the topics of abortion rights, miscarriage, menopause and all that comes with it. we get to hear lots of thoughts that Rocky keeps to herself (or not - sometimes the words just slip out of her to other people’s confusion). however, with this character, i found myself annoyed at the repetitiveness of the same half self-pitying, half i’m-such-a-mother repertoire, it made me think “i do not want children, especially if i am gonna be like this” at least 15 times. i would have liked to see even a slight shift in Rocky’s perspective of her life within this week at the cottage. but i got more of mom jokes (yes, there’s a fair contestor to dad jokes now) than character evolution. 

outside of our character’s head, things are no better. every family member seems to have been given minimum one annoying quality. Nick, the husband, is my marriage nightmare; a man without any consideration for emotions, who defines his masculinity in terms of “taking people places/ fixing things/ being the one who keeps the cool head”. and also can’t get his sexual urges under control, like Rocky is there to be primarily “the mother” and his sexual partner. i’d rather live alone for the rest of my life than be with a man who cannot piece together the “i don’t want sex” and “my body is making me feel horrible”. needless to say, i was disappointed when Rocky would return to him and “feel his scent of home”. girl, it’s not a scent of home, it’s called being used to the smell. or maybe not… maybe i don’t understand something. or, actually, no. he did not understand something. and if people wanna say that he was so patient with her, gave her space, etc., erm, sorry, but not enquiring is not the same as giving space, and ignoring does not equal patience. 

as for Rocky’s children (Willa and Jamie, and Jamie’s partner Maya [who is not her child])… they are supposed to be 20-25 years old, but read more like pesky little teenagers. i wonder if maybe that’s a cultural thing, cuz if i spoke to my parents like that, i would be immediately reminded of my place. and i wonder again, where is that fine balance between growing more of an equal friend-adult relationship with your parents and staying their child? is that balance even desirable? anyhoo, something that could be explored in a different book, i guess. 

despite disliking the characters, i did find the book to be funny sometimes, though still not as funny and witty as recently read Heartburn by Nora Ephron. i enjoyed listening to the descriptions of this seaside town, the typical resort place, with its little shops with swimsuits, souvenirs, old bookshops, magazine stalls, seafood, seagulls, sharks (ok, maybe not the sharks), fossils, ice-cream… i usually get a dissonance from reading events in a setting that is seasonally drastically different from where i am, but this time i loved being transported to the summertime, practically hearing the waves hitting the shore and feeling the sand between my toes. for that, i am grateful. 

i think this could hit just the right spot for some people, and may be a good beach read (if you don’t mind shedding a tear or two + see content warnings). the book does justice to relishing family traditions, the atmosphere of a family holiday (one kind of it, not all families are the same), and the puzzlement of seeing your loved ones age.  

***
new interest unlocked: books about complex family dynamics (but please, with better-developed characters) and the first-hand account of menopause. and maybe more seaside vibes! 

***
link to dissertation: couldn’t help but think how Rocky’s mother suspecting Parkinson’s was something the mother wanted to hide - i wish to see more of detailed exploration of sharing diagnoses (n/a so much in this book) within a family and the emotional processing that takes place after such big change. 
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