A review by chantaldjohnson
She Matters: A Life in Friendships by Susanna Sonnenberg

3.0

I felt conflicted after I finished this essay style tell-all from Sonnenberg about her past female friendships. While I devoured her writing, which I thought was open, honest, and even dangerous, this book ended up not being what I'd hoped it been. Which I think actually ended up being a good thing. She Matters doesn't offer the cookie cutter version of female friendship that is often portrayed. It's so raw that it often made me uncomfortable. Sonnenberg is about 25 years older than me, so I've had a lot less life experience. So reading all of the stories was interesting to me and also eye opening. However, I was rubbed the wrong way several times. I can't relate to not having parents that weren't there for me, and the complicated relationship with her mother definitely affected her for the worse. But I just couldn't deal with so many of the failed friendships. Once someone changed or stopped being what she needed them to be, she fled immediately. Which is brave to admit, but kind of shitty. I'm not knocking her for who she is because all of us are flawed humans. I just found it hard to relate, especially since I tend to try to be equal in my friendships and definitely give more. She would say how she liked to provide protection for her friends but then would always act like a little girl when they couldn't be there for her. Which again I'm sure ties back to her relationship with her mother. I think I'd be interested in reading her memoir. While this book has some pretty amazing writing--the last chapters where she deals with her father's death were incredibly written--I didn't take away much from it, unfortunately. Other than the fact that friends come and go all the time and we as women have to work harder to retain and maintain the good ones.