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A review by s4lmaa
My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell
5.0
So the thing about My Dark Vanessa is that it makes you feel so much.
While reading this book I found myself constantly being mad at the 15teen years old Vanessa. At the "HOW DUMB IS SHE??" but then I really hated myself. Vanessa was a child. Vanessa had to romanticize her relationship with her 42 years old English teacher to bear the feeling of everything.
I really hated how she was always trying to justify Jacob Strane. It made furious but I could sympathize with her. I mean, at the end of the day she was a child. A manipulated, raped, groomed child.
When I was reading her older self, her 32 and 21 years old self I was confused. I was asking myself "Why does she think like that?", "Why does she villainize other women that went through her same situation?", "She's a grown woman". But Vanessa never came into terms to what happened to her, she couldn't accept that she was groomed by her teacher, and this took me a while to realize.
It's not even about realizing it, it was there. It was something I completely understood. It just took me a while to bring it at the front. But doing it helped me understand and sympathize with her.
When it comes to Strane.
I hate him. I hated how he manipulated everything to work on his side. I hate the things that he did to Vanessa and the other girls. I hate this rapist, manipulator and let's not forget PEDOPHILE. Realizing why he got a vasectomy makes me want to throw up.
Another point. I loved the references and parallelisms between the books and poems. I liked how Lolita was brought into this book. Seeing how Vanessa applied it to her situation. How she saw herself in that book. I say like, because even though it is disgusting, it's real. It's real how a lot of people still romanticize books where pedophilia is treated.
I am really sad that this book ended. I expected another ending but to be honest, this is as realistic as it can be.
I am young. I am aware of the things that happen on the daily. I know that there are millions of Vanessas out there. Women that still justify their groomer, their rapist, their sexual assaulter, their anything. And I really hope that these women get the help that they need and to have the courage to come forward and speak their history.
Last edit 18 of may 2023
While reading this book I found myself constantly being mad at the 15teen years old Vanessa. At the "HOW DUMB IS SHE??" but then I really hated myself. Vanessa was a child. Vanessa had to romanticize her relationship with her 42 years old English teacher to bear the feeling of everything.
I really hated how she was always trying to justify Jacob Strane. It made furious but I could sympathize with her. I mean, at the end of the day she was a child. A manipulated, raped, groomed child.
When I was reading her older self, her 32 and 21 years old self I was confused. I was asking myself "Why does she think like that?", "Why does she villainize other women that went through her same situation?", "She's a grown woman". But Vanessa never came into terms to what happened to her, she couldn't accept that she was groomed by her teacher, and this took me a while to realize.
It's not even about realizing it, it was there. It was something I completely understood. It just took me a while to bring it at the front. But doing it helped me understand and sympathize with her.
When it comes to Strane.
I hate him. I hated how he manipulated everything to work on his side. I hate the things that he did to Vanessa and the other girls. I hate this rapist, manipulator and let's not forget PEDOPHILE. Realizing why he got a vasectomy makes me want to throw up.
Another point. I loved the references and parallelisms between the books and poems. I liked how Lolita was brought into this book. Seeing how Vanessa applied it to her situation. How she saw herself in that book. I say like, because even though it is disgusting, it's real. It's real how a lot of people still romanticize books where pedophilia is treated.
I am really sad that this book ended. I expected another ending but to be honest, this is as realistic as it can be.
I am young. I am aware of the things that happen on the daily. I know that there are millions of Vanessas out there. Women that still justify their groomer, their rapist, their sexual assaulter, their anything. And I really hope that these women get the help that they need and to have the courage to come forward and speak their history.
Last edit 18 of may 2023